


Fruity design

by KatjaT0720



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, F/F, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:00:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28945551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatjaT0720/pseuds/KatjaT0720
Summary: They arrived at the tattoo shop that Martha's friend worked, it wasn’t a big shop but very stylized, records were hanging everywhere, Shelby didn’t recognize any of the artists there.''Hey, Martie.'' An attractive young man called Martha behind the desk at the back of the shop, she might be a lesbian, but she can still see that the guy was very attractive, it was summer, so it was very hot in the room, so the guy was wearing a crop top, reviling the tattoos on his abs.''Hey, Marcus.'' Martha had a big smile on her face now.''What are you doing here? Who are your friends?''"We're here for Shelby to get a tattoo, well Fatin is getting one to but she has gotten one before.''''Ah, I'll get Toni she'll be able to help.'' Marcus walked into the back through the door behind the desk.''So, I think Toni will tattoo you, Shelby,'' Martha points at Shelby while saying it, ''And Marcus will tattoo you Fatin.''''I'm not complaining.''Rachel was the only one to speak up about it though. ''Yeah, we know.''AKAA tattoo shop AU nobody asked for.Toni's a tattoo artist and Shelby is getting a tattoo
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 23
Kudos: 198





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> (I'm not a tattoo artist so some of the thinks I described might be incorrect, I tried to make them as correct as possible and did as much research as I could to get it right)

Drinking with her friend is always fun, but they're so persistent, it's annoying sometimes but it did help here and there, they would always try to get her out of her comfort zone. 

Like what's happening today. 

They'd just been having lunch and were going to play laser tag, which Shelby had never done before, now she thinks about it she had a pretty boring childhood. Ever since she decided to live alone and see her parents only if she must she's been happier than she'd ever been, she's still not out to them, but if they were to find out she'd at least be able to support herself. 

They'd finished lunch when they went to laser tag, it was a super big playground with trees, banks, walls, everything they would need, there were other people too, so they made teams of twelve, all her friends were with her. 

Dot came up with the great idea to growl under a hill, it wasn’t that big, but it had a way to go under it, they didn’t know where it would lead but maybe they could surprise their enemy. 

Yeah, they lost... The others were far more experienced and knew the map, they didn’t stand a chance, but it was fun, she shot every person she saw without being shot but the others weren't that good of a shot. 

''I thought you would be good at this Dot with your cargo pants.'' Fatin basically sat the whole game but she did give hilarious commentary. 

Dot rolled her eyes. ''That I like storage doesn’t mean I can aim.'' 

Rachel chipped in. ''Yeah, it looked like you were blind.'' 

All Dot did is hit Rachel's shoulder. 

''Hey, that hurt.'' Rachel rubbed her shoulder; it couldn’t have hurt that much. Fatin was already chuckling. 

''you kind of deserved it.'' Nora's tone was completely serious like it wasn’t even a joke, but Shelby had known her long enough that she was trying to tell a joke. 

They all laughed before Martha suggested to go and get a tattoo, a little one. At first, Shelby disagreed but she agreed eventually if she could choose the tattoo. Her parents told her to never get a tattoo, it was against the bible they said, but times changed, Fatin would be very proud of her for doing something even if her parents disagree. 

''Do you even know someone who could tattoo Shelby legally?'' Of course, Leah would ask that. 

''Yeah, an old friend of mine is a tattoo artist, they're outstanding, have been doing it for years,'' Martha looked very confident in this person. Hopefully, her trust was justified. 

''What I'm doin' this alone? I thought that all of you would also get tattoos.'' 

''Well, I'm getting one too, but they don’t have to get one.'' Fatin already had a smirk on her face, she would probably get some sex joke or something. 

After a moment of silence and a sigh from Shelby, she agreed. ''Fine but I need a drink before I'm doin' this.'' 

Martha didn’t entirely agree to the plan. ''Um... you can't actually drink before getting a tattoo, it thins your blood, and the artist won't be able to see the tattoo clearly.'' 

''Fine.'' With a roll of her eyes Shelby and the rest of the group took their phones out for a tattoo idea. 

Shelby decides she wanted a tattoo in memory of Becca, she was her first friend, the friend that always believed in her, her first crush. It was Shelby's fault she's gone now, and she accepts what she did, but she can't forget. She chooses a point with a comma under it (;) with a hart connecting both dots. 

It would be going on the left side of her tummy, just under her boob. It wasn’t supposed to hurt very much, and it wasn’t on her ribcage either, apparently, that was a very painful spot. 

Fatin got a tattoo that said 'I'm going to be here forever' with a stick figure next to it. 

It would go on her under the leg, it wasn’t a sex joke tattoo at least. 

The others decided not to get a tattoo. Shelby was a bit nervous, but it could have been worst, it's only a little tattoo. 

They arrived at the tattoo shop that Martha's friend worked, it wasn’t a big shop but very stylized, records were hanging everywhere, Shelby didn’t recognize any of the artists there, she wasn’t very into music especially rock or whatever the music was. 

The music on the background was much more known to Shelby though, it was Taylor Swift's Willow. 

''Hey, Martie.'' An attractive young man called Martha behind the desk at the back of the shop, she might be a lesbian, but she can still see that the guy was very attractive, it was summer, so it was very hot in the room, so the guy was wearing a crop top, reviling the tattoos on his abs. 

''Hey, Marcus.'' Martha had a big smile on her face now. Shelby knew that it wasn’t just her friends getting a tattoo, Martha had had a crush on Marcus for a while now, she doesn’t know for how long, but the first time Martha told Shelby was half a year ago. 

''What are you doing here? Who are your friends?'' 

"We're here for Shelby to get a tattoo, well Fatin is getting one to but she has gotten one before.'' 

''Ah, I'll get Toni she'll be able to help.'' Marcus walked into the back through the door behind the desk. 

''So, I think Toni will tattoo you, Shelby,'' Martha points at Shelby while saying it, ''And Marcus will tattoo you Fatin.'' 

''I'm not complaining.'' Of course, she wasn't it made Shelby, Dot, and Rachel roll their eyes. 

Rachel was the only one to speak up about it though. ''Yeah, we know.'' 

It made Fatin grin even bigger. After this interaction, Marcus came in, but nobody was behind him, Shelby thought he was getting this Toni, were they working? 

''So, Toni will be back soon, she's just cleaning up some artwork. You're sure you don’t want to wait for a few days? You can come back later and have your own designs.'' 

''No, I already had a design ready like a week ago, but I didn’t have the guts to get it.'' She wasn’t flirtatious, it didn’t surprise Shelby, she knew that Fatin could keep it in her pants with her friend's crush. 

''Hey, Martie.'' A beautiful brunette stood in the doorway, Shelby was stunned, she couldn’t talk, move, she just stood there while Martha talks and introduces everybody to the brunette. 

She was shot out of it when Fatin whispered in her ear. ''You're really a helpless lesbian, aren't you?'' It wasn’t loud enough for anyone to hear but Shelby, it did make her a bit embarrassed. 

Shelby had only one response. ''Shut up.'' 

''Hi, I'm Toni.'' Toni waves at everyone and sits down, ''None of you have drunken alcohol, right?'' 

Everyone nods, none of them have drunk any alcohol thanks to Martha's suggestion. 

Toni nodded as well, ''That's good, do you have a design?'' Toni asked Shelby while looking her in the eyes. 

Shelby stammered in response. ''Y-yeah I have one on my phone.'' 

Toni just nodded and gave her a smirk, pointing to a black leather chair, probably where she's going to get tattooed. 

''Could you show me?'' 

Shelby handed Toni her phone while Martha, Nora, Rachel, Dot, Leah, and Fatin are either talking to Marcus or silent. 

''Alright, do you want someone to stay with you? I'd rather not have six other people around me; one person can stay with you.'' It looked like Toni was getting everything ready while Shelby lays down. 

''Martha could you stay with me?'' She was still scared, it was her first tattoo, she didn’t know what she was supposed to feel. 

''Yeah of course.'' She walked over to Shelby's chair and sat down. 

Fatin and Marcus also sat down at their spot. 

''Where will this tattoo go blondie?'' 

''Did you just call me blondie?'' Shelby's tone wasn’t angry, it was more challenging. Toni just nodded and smirked so Shelby continued, ''Left side under my bra.'' 

''See that wasn’t that hard was it blondie?'' That fricking smirk on her face, Shelby really wanted to get it of Toni's face. 

Toni tried to start a conversation; this wouldn't take that long, would it? ''So, how'd you meet Martie?'' 

''I was hanging out with Dot when she brought some friends with her, it's how we all met.'' 

Toni hummed, ''Your first tattoo isn't it?'' 

''Yeah, I'm a bit nervous.'' Toni was cleaning the surface that the tattoo was going on. 

''It's alright if you want to stop just say so okay? I don’t want to tattoo you when you really don’t want to.'' It surprised Shelby how gentle Toni was at the moment, she looked so though, she had tattoos on her arms and some on her legs. 

''Yeah, I'm sure.'' 

''Okay.'' 

When Toni began tattooing, it hurt, not that she would scream, but it did hurt, it hurt more than she expected, but it was bearable. 

''You doing alright?'' The tattoo wasn’t big so this wouldn’t be too long. 

''Yeah, I'm okay, it does hurt a little bit.'' 

''It's what you can expect when you get a tattoo in this area,'' her voice was a bit playful. 

''Yeah, I guess, do you have any tattoos in this area?'' Shelby didn’t know why she was curious, she just was. 

''Yeah, I have one, but it took multiple sessions.'' 

''Did it hurt?'' The pain of the tattoo wasn’t very obvious anymore. 

''Not really, I've gotten used to having physical pain, but I was nervous, I heard so many people talk about how much these kinds of tattoos hurt. Yours aren't really on the ribcage so it wasn’t on the same spot as I had mine. '' 

Shelby just hummed. 

''Alright, you're done blondie.'' Clapping her hands together Toni began to clean up, putting a layer of antibiotics on the tattoo and wrapping it. Shelby gave her a playful look after Toni used her nickname again. Could Shelby call it a nickname? She would probably never see Toni again, so it doesn’t really matter. 

''So, I don’t think I was needed here.'' Martha had a smile on her face, Shelby had forgotten that she was even her. 

Giving Martha a sympathetic smile Shelby sat up, putting her shirt back down, and waited for Toni to say something. 

Fatin was still getting her tattoo, it wasn’t big either, but it was a bit bigger the Shelby's. 

''Could you come here for a second blondie?'' Toni was behind the desk when she talked to Shelby. 

''You should really stop calling me that.'' 

''Nah, I find it funny.'' They both knew that Toni doesn’t want to insult Shelby with the nickname, it's all nice and fun. 

They both chuckled before Toni continued. ''That will be 75 dollars.'' 

''75 dollars? That’s a lot.'' 75 dollars for a little tattoo like this, she didn’t know that tattoos were this expensive. 

Toni just shrugged. ''I have to live off this, I'm experienced, over 7 years now and it's only a small tattoo so this is actually not that expensive.'' 

''Yeah, I guess that's so.'' Shelby took out her money and paid Toni. 

''Excuse me.'' Toni went to the back and came back with a piece of paper. She wrote something down on it and gave Shelby her change. ''Don’t open it until you're out of here okay?'' 

Shelby didn’t know what was happening, but she agreed. ''Okay.'' 

Taking the paper and change she went to Fatin who was just done with her tattoo. 

''Hey, you like it?'' Dot was sitting beside Fatin, Martha was outside with the rest of the group. 

''I fucking love it.'' Fatin had a grin on her face again before it turned into a smirk when she addressed Shelby, ''So you hit it off with Toni from what I've heard.'' 

''Yeah, she's nice.'' Shelby was completely oblivious to what Fatin said and continued to wait for Fatin to pay Marcus and join the rest of the group by the door. 

''So, do you guys like the tattoos?'' Leah asked. 

''Yeah, it's awesome.'' Even with the meaning behind the tattoo it still made her happy, it looked nice, and she liked it, not to mention a hot girl tattooed it. 

''Yeah, it's amazing, and Shelby totally liked it,'' Fatin winked at her after the rest talked among themselves. 

They talked for a while before they bid their goodbyes and went home. 

She came home to her apartment and emptied her pockets, coming across the piece of paper Toni gave her. 

Opening the crumbled paper, she read a series of numbers, Toni phone number she assumed, with the text under it saying 'If there are any complications just text me, or if there aren't any you can text me too ;)' Shelby had Toni's number now, and she didn't even have to ask for it. 


	2. Old times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made an adjustment to Shelby's backstory, Becca still kills herself tho  
> TW: rape & assault   
> It's not explicit or described but it is mentioned and hinted at so if that triggers you then read at your own risk

Should she text Toni now, or in the morning, or even at all? Does Toni  want to talk to her? Toni's an athletic hot girl that tattoos, like who doesn’t want that? She could get everyone she wants, why would she even choose Shelby?

Not to mention that Shelby's parents didn’t even know she liked girls and Toni would be stuck with dating someone who was  closeted . W ait, dating? She didn’t even know Toni yet.

She decided to text Fatin for advice, she was the one to notice what happened in the shop. What really happened? The only thing Toni did was call  her 'blondie'.

** Shelby:  **

Hey I need your help

When we left the tattoo shop Toni might have given me her number, what should I do?

** Fatin: **

Well just text her, she gave you her number so  shes probably interested

She looks like she likes girls and if she  doesnt she'll tell you

** Shelby:  **

Are you sure? I just  dont want to look like some  weirdo

** Fatin: **

Shelby  youre fine,  youre hot and she probably likes  girls

** Shelby: **

Okay...

So Fatin said to text Toni, should she contact someone else? The others  weren't really people to contact for  relationship advice. Nora's only boyfriend was Quin, and she saw how that ended, it was nothing against Nora it's just that it didn’t end well. Rachel had issues to work out. Dot would  probably say the same as Fatin. Martha knew Toni. Leah didn’t have the best relationship in the past. 

Fatin's advice it is...

Now just think about what she was going to send Toni. She could just put a simple text in, a hey and maybe her name afte r it but that would be lame. The only problem is that  s h e couldn’t think of anything else to say.

** Shelby: **

What do I text, like I  cant just say hey  youre cute?

** Fatin: **

Well you can, just text her your name and say hello, you can always talk to her later.

Youll be fine Shelby, she literally already gave you a  nickname

** Shelby: **

How do you know that? 

Its not like I told you

** Fatin: **

Im not deaf, and not blind either

** Shelby: **

Fine ill text her but if this goes wrong  its your fault

** Fatin: **

Ive never been wrong  ;)

Fatin could be  annoying sometimes. Rolling her eyes Shelby decided to get something to drink first, she didn’t have any soda left since Dot drank all of it when she last came over . Glass of water it is.

It didn’t take long before the glass was empty and Shelby's time was up, she's  going to have to text Toni.  It's not like she didn’t like Ton i  it's just that she was  too nervous to do  anything , she's never been in a relationship with a woman and every other relationship has failed.

_ Sitting on the couch of Andrew's  _ _ house _ _ now wasn’t as nice as it used to be, she didn’t feel safe especially since Andrew's parents  _ _ weren't _ __ _ here. _

_ Andrew was pacing in front of her like he didn’t do anything to cause this. _

_ ''What do you want me to do Shelby, you didn’t say  _ _ no, _ _ so I went for it.'' His tone and  _ _ expression _ __ _ were _ _ like he didn’t know like he was innocent, Shelby knew better. _

_ ''I was blackout drunk, of course, I wouldn’t be able to say no, I didn’t even know what was  _ _ happenin _ _ ' _ _.'' Her voice was getting louder, she was on the brink of shouting by now. _

_ ''You shouldn’t have been  _ _ drinkin _ _ ' _ _ so much, you know how I am, it's not my fault you were too dumb to stop. You're  _ _ bein _ _ ' _ __ _ too _ _ emotional about this,  _ _ it's _ _ not a big _ _ deal. _ _ '' _ _ He was getting angry now Shelby could see it. ''And if you were that drunk you wouldn’t have remembered.'' _

_ Shelby had to stay calm, if this blew up it could ruin everything she worked for. _ _ '' _ _ Oh, _ _ I can remember it well enough,  _ _ you're _ _ lucky I take birth control  _ _ otherwise _ _ you would  _ _ probably _ _ have a kid right now.'' _

_ ''It's not  _ _ like _ _ my parent would have me take care of it, it's your fault in the first place.'' It  _ _ wasn't _ _ and Andrew's parents would be pi _ _ ssed, but she doesn’t have evidence, and her parents wouldn’t believe her anyway, the only thing they'll see is that she had sex before marriage. _

_ ''Andrew we're done, I can't stand you. You're a piece of shit and it's sad that you don’t even know it.'' Shelby not going to waste her time on this, they wouldn’t believe her anyway so it wouldn’t matte _ _ r what she  _ _ said _ _. _

_ She began to walk out when Andrew shouted after her, ''You're nothing without me you slut! Becca would be ashamed of you!'' That wa _ _ s the final drop, she's not going to bac _ _ k out now. _

_ She walked up to him slowly, face showing no emotion so as not to betray her plan. She was right in front of him when she punched him in the face hard. It hurt her hand a  _ _ b _ _ it _ _ but it was worth it. _

_ The next day at school Andrew  _ _ avoided _ _ her, he had a black eye but further he looked just fine,  _ _ roomers _ _ had spread around about their  _ _ breakup _ _ and  _ _ most people also heard about Andrew being a rapist. His reputation went from being the school's heartthrob to being a piece of shit no one liked. _

_ Some girls even spoke up about him cheating on her but after a week he was  _ _ popular _ _ again, everyone had just forgotten. _

It took a couple of minutes before Shelby finally had the  courage to text Toni.

** Shelby: **

Hey its Shelby from the tattoo shop

Martha had never mentioned you before could I ask why? You too seemed so  formular .

** Toni: **

Youre fast in  someones business

Shit she fucked up she shouldn’t have been so intrusive, maybe it was a  sensitive question, what the hell Shelby?

** Shelby: **

Im sorry I didn’t want to intrude I just didn’t know what to ask

**Toni:**

No its ok you didn’t do anything  wrong I was just messing with  you, Marti and I don’t really talk about each other with  friends

She thinks  im to  jealous

** Shelby:  **

Are you?

You seem like the type to be jealous

** Toni: **

Did you just call me jealous blondie?

And no  im not one to get jealous,  ive learned from my mistakes

** Shelby: **

So you used to be jealous?

I  cant blame you, you have feelings too but that is  kinda funny, so why did Martha decide to introduce you to us?

** Toni: **

I don’t know

You did get a tattoo, I thought you were the  christian school girl?

** Shelby: **

How do you know that?

I never mentioned that

** Toni: **

Martha said she made a  christian friend and you had a cross necklace

** Shelby: **

Yeah  im a  christian but not as much as I used to be

** Toni: **

Well it was nice talking to you but I have to go now see ya later

** Shelby: **

bye

It wasn’t a long  conversation, but it was nice. It was a bit weird that Martha didn’t really talk about Toni that much.

They texted over a couple of days before Martha, Fatin and Dot decided it was time to hang out again, they wanted to go paintballing, It  was Dot's idea and Fatin was in the moment it was brought up.

Leah had something going on but didn’t want to talk about it for some reason and Rachel and Nora had something with their parents so they couldn’t come either. 

Fatin  suggested inviting Toni too, Shelby wasn’t against or for the idea but gave in eventually.

She texted Toni if she wanted to come paintball with them and Toni agreed fast.

They all arrived at 14:00 (2 pm for the people that can't read military time) Right on time. After half  an hour and a lot of ar guments about the teams, they came up with them.

They (mostly Fatin) decided that Toni and Shelby should go together because Toni was the most  athletic and Shelby could hunt so they would go together as a pair so the rest of them made a b igger team just with less experience d people .

They had to change in different  room s for each  team, so Toni and Shelby had to change together while the rest went into the different  dressing room. 

Shelby kept her eyes to the floor and tried to not even look at Toni, her head was  probably red, and it was obvious that Toni noticed it too and  changed quietly so as not to make Shelby uncomfortable.

They stepped out, the other team was already done and waiting for them. They were chatting and laughing not having noticed that Toni and Shelby were done.

They walked to the stall where they would get their weapons and bullets, the also received a band around their waist and one around their helmet with the color of their team .

They were  lead to a different part of the arena, Shelby and Toni to one side and Fatin, Dot, and Martha to the other side, Shelby's  side had mostly  tried and  trenches , there were only two building with one story on either side, one left and one right.

It was a big  arena, but they had  weapons that were supposed to shoot for so that wasn’t a big deal.

They decided to play deathmatch with lives, everyone had five lives, and when your lives are up  you had to sit down. If shot put up your hand and you  can't shoot that person anymore.

''Okay we need to sit here for a while, Fatin likes to rush things and be over it as quick as  possible so we will probably see her first, I would say go in the  opposite direction of her .'' Shelby knew for certain that they're going to win this if they played their cards right.

''Why the opposite side? If you go in front, you'll know where Dot is.''

''Dot is  observant,  she'll look where we  are at all times , if we can hide from  her, she  can't say where we  are, and Martha will be in the back. She's  an ama zin ' perso n but not one to be  aggressive .  So, eliminate Fatin first then Dot, and lastly Martha. Then spread out, wait for them to come back and keep shootin ' them out.'' It was a solid plan and if it would  fail, they can adapt.

''Fine, we'll do how you want it.''

They moved together , Toni in the front and Shelby after her. She might have  stolen a glance at Toni's ass here and there but tried to keep her eyes forward.

Shelby spotted Fatin, aiming, holding her breath, and shot twice, on shot hitting Fatin's hip and one hitting her side. She pulled Toni down into  the ditch so as not to alert Fatin where they were.

''What the fuck Shelby?'' Toni  whispered, her voice not angry but a bit frustrated.

''I just shot  Fatin, and she was lookin ' around from where she was shot, I had to pull you down.''

Toni just huffed and  peaked if Fatin was gone, she was so she stood up and went forward, Shelby following her.

It took some time to spot Dot but got her eventually. They decided to split up after that so they could either come across Martha or reshoot Fatin or Dot again.

After 20 minutes they won, Toni was shot twice while Shelby only once.

They played another couple of games with a bit of  bickering between Shelby and Toni during the rounds. Eventually, they won 4 games while Fatin and the rest of the girls won 2 games.

''How did you win so  much; we are so much better than you.'' Fatin was always one to have a big ego.

''Because we can aim, and Shelby pushed me around.'' Toni's voice was a bit annoyed,  apparently, she didn’t like to be pushed around.

''I didn’t push you around I just know what I'm  doin '.''  Shelby lay her hand on Toni's shoulder, mostly out of habit but got it off quickly.

''Yeah, yeah blondie.''

They walked out and went to get some food, Shelby and Fatin went into the restaurant to order the food while the others went and looked for a table.

They ordered everyone's food and waited to pick it up. 

''So... You kissed her yet?'' Fatin is shipping them so hard, it annoyed Shelby a bit. (btw. Fatin is the original shipper of Shoni you  can't change my mind)

''No Fatin I didn’t kiss her we were shooting the shit out of you.'' Shelby didn’t even realize that she swore but decided to keep quiet about it so as not to give Fatin, even more, to tease he r on.

''Ah... Okay.''

They stayed silent while waiting for their food, after they  arrived at the table everyone had their place and Shelby was on the other side of Toni, it both relieved and  disappointed S helby at the same time.

'' So, anybody did anything lately?''  Fatin did like gossip so this wasn’t an unexpected question.

'' Well, my parents are visiting  in a couple of days .'' Shelby wasn’t  entirely sure how she was  s upposed to feel about seeing her parents again, she wanted to see her parents again but is scared of what will happe n if they see what she's done in the time they  haven't seen each other.

'' Oh, the bigots?  Yeah, I wouldn’t be so thrilled about that either.'' Fatin had to disrespect her  parents, didn’t she?

''Don’t disrespect my parents like that!'' Shelby wasn’t shouting but she  definitely raised her voice.

''If their bigots they deserve it.'' Toni's voice was nonchalantly like it was the obvious  answer ,  she couldn’t just disrespect her parents like that.

''You can't disrespect my parents like that, neither can I. I might not like them but  they're still my parents.''

The group stayed silent after Toni shrugged in response to Shelby's sentence.

They bid their goodbyes after finishing their meal, Shelby still had some things to do for her work and she had to  prepare food for when her parents come .

She went to the store and bought all the things she needed and went home, doing her work, and  handed it in.

Finally, she had some time and messaged Toni, talking for a while and learning more about Toni's interest. She learned Toni's zodiac sign was Aries which didn’t really surprise her, Toni supposedly got angry and jealous quickly, so  stereotypically it did fit . She found out Toni's favorite color was orange and that she liked old country music for some reason, specifically old music because Toni c ould only hear so man y songs about cars and perfect blond girls. 

It made Shelby chuckle at how  ridiculous the statement was, not every country song was about blond women and cars.

They talked for a couple of hours before Shelby had to go to bed for work tomorrow,  saying goodbye and wishing Toni well.


	3. Movement

_ It had only been 2 days after her breakup with Andrew when her parents called her downstairs. When she walked downstairs and into the living room where her parents _ _ , Andrew, and his parents _ __ _ were  _ _ seated _ _ she saw he _ _ r father's  _ _ expression _ _ and she knew something was wrong. _

_ ''What's  _ _ goin _ _ ' on?''  _ __

_ ''We heard somethings from  _ _ Andrew, _ _ so we just wanted to talk to you.'' _ _ She's not going to do this, not now, not _ __ _ ever. _

_ ''I'm not  _ _ doin _ _ ' this.'' _ __

_ ''Yes, you are, you can't just accuse someone like this and get away from this.'' Of course, he would say something like that. _ __

_ She stayed silent and walked out, it was Friday  _ _ now, _ _ so she didn’t have school tomorrow and she didn’t have any homework to do since she already made everything. _

_ She texts Hannah, the only friend who believed her and  _ _ ac _ _ tuall _ _ y avoided _ _ Andrew because of what happened to Shelby, asking if she could stay with her for the night. _ _ Hannah agreed without question. _

_ Shelby walked up to Hannah's  _ _ house; _ _ Hannah's parents always liked  _ _ her, _ _ so they probably  _ _ won't _ _ have a problem with Shelby staying the _ _ re for the night. _

_ ''Hey, you  _ _ doin _ _ ’ okay?'' They both knew the answer to that question, Hannah at l _ _ east  _ _ tries _ _ to check up on her, that was all she really could ask for. _

_ ''I'm fine.'' She wasn’t really and it looked like Hannah knew that too seeing from her worried  _ _ expression _ _. _

_ They greeted  _ _ Hannah's _ _ mom and set up the  _ _ mattress _ _ Shelby will be staying at least for today and at most of the weekend, she will have to go back home eventual _ _ ly. _

_ '' _ _ So, _ _ what happened? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.'' Her voice was reassuring, Shelby knew that she didn’t have to tell Hannah  _ _ anything, _ _ but she asked to sleep at her house out o _ _ f the blew, she at least owed  _ _ Hannah _ _ an explanation. _

_ ''You remember what I told you  _ _ about _ _ Andrew an _ _ d  _ _ what he did?'' Hannah nodded, deciding to stay silent. '' _ _ Apparently, _ _ he told his parents, at least that’s what  _ _ I'm _ __ _ guessin _ _ ' _ _ , and they came to my home, saying I couldn’t  _ _ accuse _ _ him of  _ _ somethin _ _ ’ like that, probably because it would ruin his life. The only thin’ my parents are worried about is  _ _ my innocence. _ _ '' She held her voice even and wasn’t going to  _ _ try _ _ just telling the story. _

_ '' _ _ They're _ _ still your parents, they'll still love you right?'' From her  _ _ expression _ _ it looked like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, Hannah's parents  _ _ aren't _ _ as religious as Shelby _ _ 's family so that probably why. _

_ ''They love Andrew, he's like a sun to them. They would never  _ _ approve _ _ of me breaking up with him. He's from a rich and religious family and would get a good job,  _ _ that's _ _ all that mat _ _ ters to them _ _. He  _ _ could _ _ provide, if they had their  _ _ way, _ _ I would be married off years ago.'' _ _ Shelby  _ _ doesn't _ _ even reali _ _ ze how messed up she sounds, every normal human would be  _ _ horrified _ _ but this is just her life, now, she has her own house, away from her parents, and can make her own  _ _ dissension _ _ , but looking back, she _ _ 's horrified at how calm she  _ _ actually was _ _. _

_ Hannah just hugged her and they talked for a while, somethings about school, about Hannah's new boyfriend, and about the next text, they talk until they fall asleep. _

She woke up from her alarm, it only 6 in the morning, sometimes she really hates her dad for setting a morning mindset into her.

She got ready for her run, drinking some water and putting some music on. 

She came home after a  45-minute run , Shelby always liked running, she  isn't the  fastest but when you run your lungs hurt, your legs hurt but your mind is empty, you can't think of anything else but the pain in your legs. It’s a good distraction.

She eats her breakfast and checks on social media.  By 7:40 she leaves her house and just before 8, she arrives at her work.

She comes home around 4:30 and finishes some things off before heading to the gym at 5, it still  surprises her how she still does everything the same wa y when she was younger, she still goes to the gym, does about the same exercises just more of them, the only thing that she does now and didn’t do back then was run in the morning, and work of course but she  has to pay for herself now. Not being able to rely on her parents was hard at first, but over time she learned how to pay taxes, do her own laundry and cook so living alone became easier.

S h e g o e s t o c h u r c h h e r e a n d t h e r e a n d s t i l l p r a y s every day b u t i t 's m o r e flexible than s h e c o u l d e v e r i m a g in e , s h e d o e s n ’ t f e e l g ui l t y w h e n s h e m i s s e s c h u r c h b e c a u s e o f w o r k o r w h e n s h e g o t  h e r t a t t o o .

It was after she came home from the gym and  showered, she got a text from Toni.

** Toni: **

Hey, can you help me with moving some stuff?

** Shelby: **

Sure, just text me your address

S h e l b y d i d n ’ t k n o w w h y s h e j u s t a g r e e d w i t h o u t a s k i n g q u e s t i o n s , T o n i i s practically a s t r a n g e r . Yeah, S h e l b y k n o w s s o m e t h i n g s a b o u t Toni, b u t t he y di d n ’ t k n o w e a c h o t h e r for long, Shelby  didn't even know Toni's last name.

Toni gave Shelby her address, no backing out now. It wasn’t far so Shelby decided to walk to Toni's house, it was early  fall, so it  won't get dark that early.

Toni's house wasn’t  big, but it wasn’t small either, 2 stories high and  a front garden. Shelby knocked at the door and Toni opened it, she was wearing baggie sweatpants with a baggie hoodie, they were cov ered in paint, it looked dried up probably having been splashed on there an hour or two before Shelby  arrived .

''Hey.'' It was a simple word, not even a sentence but the tension made it unbearable , Toni just stood there, staring.  It's not like Shelby wasn’t staring either because...

Toni snapped out of it, blinking a couple of times before speaking.  ''Hey, umm, I need you to help for a sec, I tried to move some  furniture, but I can't move  it, and nobody was available to help .''

Toni's ears were a bit red but it was probably of  embarrassment , she just asked a friend to move furniture while she was supposed to be independent.

" Yeah, sure lead the way.''

Toni opens the door, and Shelby hears music  playing, she has no idea who's or what song it  is, but it keeps repeating 'girl next door' It had a nice ring to it.

'' So... what do you need help with?'' 

''I need to get this thing,'' Toni pointed to a desk, ''And this thing,'' a closet, '' Upstairs , I  can't dissect them, or whatever - you - want - to - call - it, be cause someone told me so.''

''Because someone told you so?'' Would Toni listen to that though? Shelby doesn’t think so... there's always a first for everything I guess. ..

''Yes,'' Toni told her in a way that makes Shelby convinced that she really thinks that you can pick apart a closet or desk like it was the obvious  answer . I t was a bit funny.

''And you  believed them?'' Toni nodded, obviously confused. ''Toni you can pick those things apart then bring them upstairs and put them back together.''

Toni was silent for a few seconds before answering, ''I don’t care, you're here now so unless you have anything important to  do, you're  gonna help me.''

It made Shelby a bit angry that Toni just decided to ignore her and demand that Shelby helps  her, but it was kind of cute having a tiny hotheaded girl boss her around . It's not like that’s going to be for long because  they're going to move  furniture, but Shelby  nonetheless agreed.

_ When she woke up Hannah was gone, she looked at the time, it was already 8, so it wasn’t bizarre that Hannah was gone.  _

_ She walked downstairs and saw Hannah's mother making bre _ _ a _ _ kfast, it looked like eggs with toast. _

_ ''Hey, Shelby.'' Hannah's mom had a friendly smile on her face, the woman was amazing, one of the only  _ _ women _ _ in the town that wasn’t  _ _ really religious _ _ , her husband was so they still went to chu _ _ rch every  _ _ Friday, _ _ but Shelby can only imagine that they don’t have to pray  _ _ every day _ _ and follow so  _ _ many _ _ rules. It sounded like the  _ _ freedom _ _ to Shelby. _

_ ''Hey.'' Shelby couldn’t stop herself from smiling back.  _

_ ''Have you heard of your  _ _ parents _ _ yet?'' What? Shelby didn’t remember telling her about what happened. _

_ Hannah's mom seemed to notice Shelby's  _ _ worries _ _ , ''Don't worry I just overheard, I  _ _ won't _ _ tell your parents  _ _ anything _ _ ,  _ _ I'm _ _ not  _ _ goin _ _ ’ to force you to deal with  _ _ things when  _ _ you're _ _ not ready.'' _

_ Shelby let out a breath of relief, ''No I  _ _ haven't _ _ talked to them.'' _

_ Hannah's mom hummed _ _. _ _ It was none of her  _ _ business, _ _ so Shelby really appreciates her not asking further. _

_ After breakfast and some conversations with both Hannah and her mom Shelby decided to leave, she took her phone and went to her home,  _ _ hoping _ _ that Andrew and his parent _ _ s were gone. _

_ When she came  _ _ home, _ _ she went to the front door, both cars were still there, it was the  _ _ weekend, _ _ so her parents didn’t have to work today. _

_ She knocked at the  _ _ door; _ _ she heard her mother shout at her brother _ _ and sister _ _ to open her door _ _. Both her brother _ _ and sister _ _ stood at the door when they opened it,  _ _ they both hugged her the moment they  _ _ could, _ _ and Shelby hugged her back. She might not always like them, but  _ _ they're _ _ still her brother _ _ and sister, _ _ and a hug now and then was great. _

_ All 3 of _ _ them walked into the house, her mother was at the kitchen table and looked at her, she looked  _ _ relieved, _ _ but she didn’t move, she heard her father call to her mom.  _

_ When her mom didn’t answer her father came to the kitchen. _ _ ''Hey hone-'' He stopped talking the moment he saw Shelby, '' _ _ Kids get out of here. I, your mom and sister are  _ _ goin _ _ ' talk for some time.'' _

_ Her siblings leave and her father gestures to Shelby to sit down before sitting down himself _ _ , h _ _ er mother sits down as  _ _ well. _

_ ''Where were you?'' Not a, are you okay? Are you hurt?  _ _ I'm _ _ sorry for driving you away. No, he needs to know where she was. _

_ ''None of your business,'' Shelby has never spoken up to her parents like this but she's not going to tell the place  _ _ she feels safe at the moment _ _. _

_ Her father didn’t look  _ _ happy, _ _ but he sucked it up, calming down and taking a deep breath before he continues speaking, '' _ _ I'm your father and you will tell me where you were, do you know how worried I was? My daughter stormed out of the house without any  _ _ reasoning _ _ and doesn’t come back for the night, what do you  _ _ think I feel? I was about to file a missing person report.'' _

_ No  _ _ reason _ _? No  _ _ reason _ _ my ass. ''You wouldn’t do  _ _ that, _ _ and you know it.'' Shelby  _ _ was done thinking her parents would do that, she knew they would call all her  _ _ friend's _ _ parents, maybe even visit them, she knew they wouldn’t do that. ''You wouldn’t even be able to _ _ , I  _ _ haven't _ _ been 'missing' for 24 hours.'' _ __

_ Her father huffed, probably in annoyance at how Shelby keeps going against him, Shelby would be if she was him.  _ _ This time it didn’t look like he was going to calm down, he was getting visibly angry, ''YOU WILL TELL ME WHERE YOU WERE!'' He was screaming  _ _ like a madman like he never had before. Shelby had never heard her father scream like this _ _. Yeah, _ _ he has screamed here and there bu _ _ t Shelby felt like she  _ _ deserved _ _ it, but now he's the one in the wrong. _

_ ''No.'' Her voice was softer and  _ _ quieter, _ _ but she was still sure, she wasn’t going to tell him where she was. _

_ Her father stormed out, fuming.  _

_ Her mother sat next to her  _ _ and also _ _ sighed, not in anger but in annoyance of sorts, her daughter didn’t even want to talk to her own father. '' _ _ Please don’t be hard on him, we're  _ _ havin _ _ ’ a bit of a hard time.'' _

_ What kind of a hard time, are her parents fighting? Because of her? ''Why?'' _

_ ''Nothing to worry about.'' Her mother smiled at her before she walked away. _

Th e d e s k w a s n ’ t h a r d ,  i t w a s n ’ t t h a t h e a v y n o r  big, s o t h e y g o t i t o u t o f t h e w a y p r e t t y q u i c k l y . Then the closet, which was a lot harder, it was heavy and big, still big enough to fit  t h rough everything but bigger than the desk. They ev en t o o k c a r e o f s o m e ot h e r t h i n gs w h i l e t h e y w e r e a t i t , S h e l b y w a s a c t u a l l y h a v i n g a l o t o f  f u n w i t h T o n i , s h e e v e n g o t t o k n o w T o n i 's l a s t n a m e ; S h a l i f o e .

It was already late and dark outside when they were done, it was too late for Shelby to feel safe to walk home alone and she couldn’t stay with Toni since she had work tomorrow . What? Why  was sh e even  thinking of staying with Toni?

'' Hey, it's  already dark outside,'' Toni sounded surprised, she probably  hadn't noticed that it was getting dark as she mostly lifted while Shelby just made sure things didn’t fall off the stairs.

''Yeah, do you know the exact time?'' If she knew the  time, she might be  able to call a friend to pick her up.

''Couple minutes after seven, I can take you home if you want  to. We can also eat since it's around dinner time, maybe even help me paint some things?'' The last two questions sounded unsure. Toni probably didn’t want to scare her off.

''You still  have to paint? What are you  doin ' here?''

''I'm renovating the house, it’s a piece of shit so I want to fix it.'' Toni was  smiling and cleaning somethings up, ''So I'm  gonna change  real q uick  and then I'll bring you home.''

''I mean if I could take you up on the offer of food that'd be nice.'' How could she be  kidding herself? It’s a free meal plus  it's with Toni, not a bad deal .

''Sure.''

Toni went to  change, and Shelby waited in the hallway, looking around she saw a door that she presumed was the toilet seeing as it had a sign with ' toilet ' on it. It didn’t look like something Toni would  voluntarily hang on a door but seeing the state of this place it looked like a lot of things from the old residents of the house were left behind.

She saw the door Toni went into, probably the bedroom. There was also a room that Shelby could only presume was either a storage or a  guest room.

'' Hey, do you remember if you saw a shirt laying around anywhere?'' Toni was behind her in basketball shorts and a  bra, but she wasn’t wearing a shirt, Shelby  turned around and just went silent, staring, trying to avoid looking at anything  inappropriate . ''I had  an extra pair of clothes in the house since  my shit is still at Martie's but I  can't seem to find the shirt, it's somewhere I just don’t know where.''

'' Uhh ...'' Shelby didn’t know what to say. Toni had tattoos everywhere, on her shoulders, arms, and even sides . Shelby could see the tattoo they had talked about when she got her tattoo, it looked so cool. 

''Blondie you  doing okay?'' Toni took a step towards her which drove Shelby out of her staring and caused her to  answer .

''No, I can't remember seeing one sorry.'' Shelby can only imagine her face looking like a  tomato from the feeling she was feeling right now.

''Alright let's look for it.'' Toni walked past her and went to the stairs when Shelby turned  around, she saw Toni's back, the only thing she could do is be amazed, it wasn’t as full as her arms or sho ulders , but a part  of her shoulder tattoos went over to her back as well as some stand-alone tattoos where there.

She eventually shook out of it and went downstairs, Toni was putting her shirt on, Shelby  immediately looked down, she can't keep blushing like this.

''What  kinda food should we order?'' Shelby was slowly noticing that Toni was beginning to  speak a bit different, she still spoke in the same  tone, but she used other words like:  kinda ,  wanna , you  doing etcetera. It was nice.

''I like  Thai , what about you?''

'' Yeah, Thai's nice.''


	4. Visiting part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I wanted a European character, so I made one :)   
> Yes, I only choose Dutch because I'm Dutch and I know the language, culture, etc. And of course, because I'm proud of my country   
> I'm not religious tho, so if I get anything wrong or if I'm insensitive please correct me and I'll change it, I don't want to offend anyone.

Shelby came home from her dinner with Toni, they'd eaten Thai and even  painted a bit. Shelby, like the dumbass she was had spilled a bit of paint on her  shirt, so she  had to borrow one from Toni.

It was a  blue sweater with yellow batches on the sleeves , it was the same size as the shirts Shelby wears.

She got ready for bed and opened her phone, she hasn’t been on it since she was with Toni, mostly because she was having so much fun and she didn’t really have time, moving, eating, and painting kept her  busy for the time she was there.

** Toni: **

Goodnight :)

** Shelby: **

Night 

_ She _ _ lby w _ _ alk _ _ ed _ __ _ through _ _ school to her  _ _ biology _ _ lesson, she  _ _ hadn't _ _ really talked to her father in over a week, they saw each other at breakfast and have a small talk but they didn’t really talk like they used to. _

_ Shelby used to sit next to Becca in  _ _ bio _ __ _ class, they normally  _ _ aren't _ _ in the same  _ _ class, _ _ so they wanted to sit next to each other in the only class they s _ _ hared. Well, they used to share. _

_ Shelby walked into class and said hey to the teacher.  _ _ Biology _ __ _ used to be her favorite class, mostly because she shared it with Becca, now  _ _ it's _ _ just  _ _ miserable _ _ ,  _ _ just a reminder of what  _ _ happened. _

_ ''Welcome class, today we have a new student, would you like to introduce yourself?''  _

_ There was a person in the front, broad shoulders, short curly brown hair, and tall, like really tall, Shelby wasn’t the best at guessing  _ _ height, _ _ but _ _ Shelby would guess _ _ they were about 5 _ _ '11. _

_ The person in the front next to the teacher sighed, it looked like they didn’t want to be there, ''I'm Nora  _ _ b _ _ ut _ _ everybody calls me Nor, I like it more.'' _

_ ''Well, Nor you can sit next to Shelby.'' _ _ Nor simply hummed and walked up to Shelby and sat down. _

_ They went  _ _ through _ _ the first 20 minutes of class without speaking, checking homework, and getting the marks from their most recent test. _

_ ''Alright so  _ _ you w _ _ on’t have a test this chapter, you will have a project. I want you to make the whole sheet about  _ _ an _ __ _ eco-system _ _ , it  _ _ doesn’t matter what kind of ecosystem, you can do one underground, in the sea etcetera. You will get a sheet with over a hundred animals and I want you to choose 20, these animal _ _ s will make up your eco _ _ - _ _ system.'' _ _ The teacher took a bag and got  _ _ the  _ _ papers out, ''You will do this in pairs of two, I want these sheets to be A3 and neat, I want either  _ _ illustrations _ _ or phot _ _ os. _ _ You will do this project with the person sitting next to you, now that everyone has  _ _ someone _ __ _ they're sitting next to we can do this.'' _

_ No... _

_ After everything was sorted Shelby turned to Nor, she didn’t look happy, she was paired with the 'Christian religious girl' on her  _ _ first day. _

_ '' _ _ So, _ _ when does this have to be done?!'' Nor r _ _ ude _ _ ly shouted, she was trying to get the teachers attention, no one ever did this because the biology teacher wasn’t relaxed, she was _ _ strict and harsh, Shelby sometimes hated it but she couldn’t deny her grades had been going up ever since she had been in this biology class. _

_ ''Show some respect!  _ _ Luckily _ _ for you,  _ _ it's _ _ your first lesson so I  _ _ won't _ _ be  _ _ too _ _ harsh, I want this  _ _ finished _ _ in two weeks, you'll have a lot of  _ _ time, _ _ so I expect _ __ _ excellence _ _.'' _

_ Nor stayed quiet, Shelby expected her to be more outspoken but getting in trouble the first day of school wasn’t a good way to build a reputation. _

_ ''Alright, you have 20 minutes left so you can start now, make plans, or just do nothing I don’t care, phones are allowed  _ _ if you're _ __ _ whispering, as long as  _ _ I  _ _ can't _ _ hear you.'' _

_ Nor gave her a phone with a number on it, it looked a bit weird, there was +31 on it _ _ instead of the normal +1 _ _ , ''Why is there a plus  _ _ thirty _ _ -one in front of the number?''  _

_ ''I haven't changed my phone number since I moved so it’s the same as it was back home.'' Nor had quite the accent, not one Shelby would call someone's from the  _ _ US. She  _ _ insinuated _ _ the  _ _ ' _ _ t _ _ ' _ _ a lot and  _ _ her  _ _ delivery  _ _ was _ __ _ flat. _

_ ''So where are you from? America doesn’t have a plus thirty-one country number.'' _

_ ''The Netherlands.''  _

_ ''The Netherlands?'' Shelby had never heard of The Netherlands. _

_ ''You probably know it as Holland, but those are just provinces.'' So No _ _ r was from Europe.  _

_ ''Must be nice to get out of there.'' Shelby heard that Europe is even  _ _ worse _ _ than America, at least her daddy said so. _

_ ''The discrimination is even worst here; I mean back home I could wear what I want without being insulted and slut-shamed.'' So Nor didn’t see  _ _ America as home. _

_ ''What do you mean? I can wear whatever I want, and nothing happens.'' _

_ ''You're a skinny _ _ , rich, Christian _ _ white girl with Eurocentric features, the only thing you have to worry about _ _ for _ _ now _ _ is what you wear in the morning because you have so much to choose from.'' _

_ They stayed silent for a while and Shelby went on her phone, there wasn’t  _ _ wi-fi _ __ _ you could  _ _ excess _ __ _ in  _ _ school, _ _ so you had to use 4G. Nor on the other hand, began drawing in a notebook, Shelby didn’t wa _ _ nt to  _ _ interrupt _ _ or make her made so she stayed by herself and didn’t interfere. _

_ Shelby texted the number that nor gave her and introduced herself, the only thing she got was  _ _ an _ _ 'ok' from Nor. _

_ Over the next few days Shelby and  _ _ Nor _ _ texted over the project, but they had to meet up eventually for the sheet of paper itself. They had decided to draw everything, they still had o _ _ ver a week so that would be fine, _

_ ''Dad can I have someone over for a school project?'' Her dad was downstairs, he was doing some things for the church, they were supposed to expect K _ _ yle today, he was coming back from therapy. _

_ ''Sorry sweetheart we  _ _ can't _ _ , I have some things to do today. Can you go to them?'' _

**_ Shelby: _ **

_ Sorry you  _ _ can't _ _ come here my dad  _ _ has to _ _ do  _ _ something, _ _ can we go to your house? _

**_ Nor: _ **

_ Sure, I  _ _ can't _ _ promise you'll like it  _ _ though _

**_ Shelby: _ **

_ It  _ _ cant _ _ be that bad _

_ Yeah, it was that bad... _

_ Shelby arrived after her dad brought her to the  _ _ address _ __ _ Nor _ _ gave her, it was a  _ _ relatively _ _ small house with a big front  _ _ yard _ _. 2 kids were playing, one with a toy truck and the other with the  _ _ grass, they looked like they were  _ _ having _ _ a fun time and didn’t stop  _ _ Shelby, _ _ so she just let them be. _

_ Shelby knocked on the door, and a boy opened the door, he looked maybe a year or three  _ _ younger _ _ than her but he was inches taller  _ _ than _ _ her. _

_ ''Is Nora home?'' Shelby tried to be as polite as she  _ _ could, _ _ but she heard shouting in the background and a pot was on the stove with no one looking o _ _ ut on it. _

_ ''Nora!! Een of  _ _ andere _ __ _ kut _ _ is  _ _ hier _ _ ,  _ _ ze _ __ _ vraagt _ _ of je  _ _ thuis _ _ bent!'' The boy shouted in a language Shelby didn’t understand, the only thing  _ _ she heard was Nor's name. _ __ _ *translation: Nora _ _!! _ _ some cunt is  _ _ here, _ _ she's asking if you're home. _ _ (this might sound like harsh language but in the Netherlands its normal _ _. especially for young boys. ;) _ __ _ K _ _ ut is a word that is even used for messing with family, I use it against my brother but if  _ _ I _ _ would use it for my mom... I would be dead the second I open my  _ _ mouth) _

_ ''Ja  _ _ ik _ __ _ kom _ __ _ eraan _ _ je  _ _ kan _ _ nu optyfen _ _ '' Shelby could hear what she presumed was  _ _ Nor _ _ coming down the st _ _ airs and the boy went back to the stove, so he was the one looking after it. Why were they trusting a 14-year-old with a stove? _ __ _ *translation: Yup I'm coming you can get the fuck out now. _

_ Nor came down with the clothes she had  _ _ worn _ _ to school today. ''Hey Shelby, come on.'' Nor looked friendlier and  _ _ appreciable _ _ here than when she's at school. It look _ _ ed weird, like she was w _ _ ea _ _ ring a mask  _ _ if _ _ she's herself at school or at home Shelby didn’t know. _

_ They went upstairs, Shelby saw  _ _ an _ _ elderly woman there,  _ _ in _ __ _ bed being fed by what she could only presume was either Nor's mom or her older sister, seeing as they had a  _ _ seventeen-year-old and a toddler here it wouldn’t surprise Shelby if they had an older sibling too. _

_ They came into a room with a bed, desk, basically anything you would need in a bedroom. ''So I have already made a system, so we only need to illustrate the animals.'' _

_ ''Alright.'' They sat down on the bed, it was light blue, with only one session for some reason. ''So,  _ _ how _ _ many siblings do you have?'' _

_ ''I have 5 other siblings.'' 5? That a lot, ''How about you?'' _

_ ''2, how can you have 5 siblings, is your mother okay. My mom used to say that pregnancy and giving birth hurts a lot.''  _

_ ''Wel only 2 of them are fully related to me, the other 3 are step-siblings _ _. We have Rosa and Rosie, the twins in the yard.  _ _ Ishaan is the boy you saw in the kitchen; he is my brother fully blood-related.  _ _ Asha is my other sister fully blood-related, she's out with friends right now. _ __ _ Eva is my other  _ _ stepsister _ _.''  _

_ ''Big family huh? So, your sister was feeding your grandmother?'' _

_ ''Are you spying on my family _ _? No that’s my mom, my sister is at her extra lessons.'' _

_ They talked for a while about their own lives, school, and sibling. They were done with 14 animals, most w _ _ ere smaller animals, now they had to draw the bigger animals. _

_ ''So, why did you let a fourteen-year-old at the stove?''  _

_ Nor laughed, ''He is the best  _ _ cook _ _ of us all and we have family over  _ _ tomorrow, _ _ so we need a lot of food. _ _ '' _

_ ''Ah, seems about right _ _.'' Shelby had a smile on her face now, a big  _ _ contest _ _ at how uneasy she felt when she first came into the home. ''I'm  _ _ goin _ _ ’ now,  _ _ it's _ _ already over 6'' _

_ ''Wait, what? Is the sun still up?'' _

_ Shelby looked out the window, it was sunset by now. ''It's sunset. Why do you ask?'' _

_ '' _ _ Oh, _ _ thank god, I have to pray now so it's a good time that you leave.''  _

_ Why would she have to pray, it's not dinner time. It wasn’t really Shelby's business, so she decided to keep quiet. ''Alright have a nice day.'' _

She woke up , brushed her teet h, did everything she always does in the morning. Her parents were coming today, and Shelby was anxious. Her par ents were  coming, and they were staying at her house, she had  a spare room with a bed in  it, so they were able to stay at her house.

Shelby opened the door when she heard a knock, standing there were her parents, ''Hey daddy.''

''Hey, sweetheart.'' Her dad gave her a hug, it felt like the old ones she used to get when she was a kid, it felt great.

They went to the table and had lunch, Shelby thought it was a good idea to make warm lunch, her father would always do that on special occasions.

''So how have you been  doin ’ nowadays? You live on your own now, it  must be hard.'' Her dad said.

'' No, I'm fine, I have a job, I can do  everythin ’ I used to do.'' Shelby didn’t  know why her father  thought it was hard, it wasn’t, you just had to know what to do.

''You seem a bit bulky, have you gained some weight?'' Her mother said. She seemed to care.

''No... I just exercise with weights more.'' Why would her mother care? She knew Shelby didn’t do pageants anymore.

''I just think that no man will want a girl with big muscles, you're  gettin' too bulky.''

''I can get as bulky as I want. If I want to exercise in another way then that none of your concern.'' 

Her mother just put her hand up and shrugged, like she was just trying to help. Her father just had raised eyebrows.

''So, you found a guy yet?'' Her father asked. Shelby first thought went to Toni, but she just ignored it.

''No, so whatcha doin ’ these days ?'' Shelby didn’t appreciate being questioned like this.

''We've been  doin ’ really  well , Brad and  Kaitlyn are  doin ’ well too.''

''That's nice.'' 

They talked some more until it was time for Shelby to do something else, they were going to leave tomorrow morning , this isn't going to last much longer. This was basically the only thing Shelby was looking forward to.


	5. Is it though?

Her parents had left in the morning the next day, Shelby felt like their relationship was improving, they  weren't on good terms but at least they could talk without shouting or arguing.

She got a message from Toni.

** Toni: **

So how was dinner with your parents?

** Shelby: **

How did you even know my parents were here?

** Toni:  **

You mentioned it after shooting the shit out of Fatin Dot and Martha

You said a couple of  days so I assumed they were gone by  now

** Shelby:  **

Arent you smart?

** Toni: **

Of course, I am

I would never forget :)

** Shelby: **

Haha

So have you been doing anything while I was dealing with my parents?

** Toni: **

So they are annoying?

Not much, I got a new tattoo  tho

** Shelby: **

I was not saying that

Where did you get it? Did it hurt?

** Toni: **

I got it on my hip,  its like as big as the point of my  thumb so I did it  myself

Nah it didn’t  hurt

** Shelby: **

But how'd you know that they left today?

** Toni:  **

It was  actually a hunch

It would be  really funny if they were still there  😊

** Shelby: **

Did Toni  Shalifoe just send me  an emoji?

Martha said you rarely do that

** Toni: **

Haha

No

I was wondering if you have anything to do  today?

** Shelby: **

No, I'm free

** Toni: **

Well, wanna get a  drink?

I'm bored and Martha doesn’t have time right  now

** Shelby: **

Yeah sure

Do you know the  donut  shop on Jimmy Jo hns on  Boulevard ? 

** Toni: **

Yeah I know that  place

You  wanna go there?

** Shelby: **

They have really good food there?

** Toni: **

See  ya there

So they  decided to meet up in half an hour at the coffee shop. Shelby wasn’t  entirely sure was she was supposed to think this wa s, was it a date or just a meet up with friends. Shelby picked the  latter, it wouldn’t hurt to go on a date with  Toni, but she didn’t know if Toni even liked her.

Fatin may have told her Toni liked it but how could she be sure? 

She didn’t dwell on it and just went to the shop.

_ Nor and Shelby had been friends for a while now, they'd  _ _ finished their project and even got an A. _

**_ Nor: _ **

_ Come to my house I  _ _ wanna _ _ show you  _ _ something _

_ Shelby just agreed, she'd come to get used to  _ _ Nor _ _ pushing her and not really caring what other _ _ s _ _ thought. _

_ Ishaan got used to her by now, they'd spoken here and there when Nor had to do somethings, Ros _ _ a _ _ and Rosie _ _ even said hi to her when she came to the house. _

_ Shelby walked into Nor's room, ''So what do you want to show me?''  _

_ ''Well not really show you I'm going to take you,  _ _ Saturday _ _ at 9 pm at my house, be one time. Oh,  _ _ and _ _ I wanted to show you the new game I got!'' After Nor's borderline ru _ _ de demand she went on with a smile and showed Shelby a _ _ game, it was Mario cart, Shelby knew the game but never played it.  _

_ ''Why would you show me this?'' _

_ ''Because you and your  _ _ Christian _ _ morals are  _ _ annoying, _ _ and you need to know something else than the bible and pageants. I'm just showing you some other things, you don’t have to like it I just want to show you.'' _

_ Shelby sighed, ''Ugh, fine.'' _

_ They began playing, Shelby was shit, she was  _ _ really bad _ _. It was even hard to turn around the corner without falling.  _

_ After some  _ _ time _ _ Shelby got the hang of the controls and was able to at least try to get past Nor. _ __ _ They _ _ had fun though, they laughed, joked, and teased. It was great. _

_ '' _ _ Hey, _ _ I'm  _ _ goin _ _ ’ to leave I don’t want to be late and miss diner.'' If she was late her parents will be pissed. _

_ ''Bye! Don’t forget  _ _ Saturday _ _!'' _

_ Luckily _ _ she came home on time. Her family was just done setting up  _ _ dinner, _ _ so she sat down at the table and prayed with her family. _

_ ''Can I go out Saturday at 9?'' They were eating potatoes with broccoli or  _ _ cauliflower _ _ and pork. _

_ ''Where do you want to go?'' _

_ ''I don’t know,  _ _ Nor _ _ didn’t tell me. I don’t think it's somethin _ _ ’ _ _ bad.'' _

_ Her father thought about it for a while before  _ _ answering _ _ , ''Okay, don’t do  _ _ anythin _ _ ’ I wouldn’t do and be home before one.'' _

_ Shelby hummed, she wasn’t thrilled to go out, she didn’t even know what she was going to do but it was  _ _ exciting _ _ , it was new _ _ ,  _ _ she'd _ _ never done something like going out and partying. The only thing that would come close was a little party at Andrew's house some time ago. _

Shelby  arrived at the shop at the time they had agreed on. Toni was already  there; she wore a loose-fitting grey shirt with  a  khaki jacket.

''Hey,'' Toni had a smile on her face, she didn’t look nervous, unlike Shelby who had been a  nervous mess  ever since they made plans.

''Hey.'' She lby might be nervous but at least she could muster up a smile. '' So, what do you wa nt to do?''

Toni just shrugged and explained, ''So I thought  let's get coffee first and then like do a walk along the park? I'm just  bored, and I wanted to spend some time with a friend.'' 

''Alright.'' 

It was very cold autumn this year, especially today. Yesterday it was far warmer  than it is today, it is almost freezing.

''So, how'd you grow up?'' Shelby had never heard about Toni's childhood, she heard about her present-day life but never about her childhood.

''What do you mean?'' 

'' Well, I've never heard about your childhood and I was curious.''

Toni looked a bit  lost; she didn’t know if she wanted to tell Shelby.

''I grew up in the foster system, had to fight my way up. I began tattooing when we had a tattoo workshop at our school. I hit it off with the person t hat  taught us, so he decided to take me under his wing, I didn’t have much to do so I went every week. I learned how to tattoo and shit, and now I'm here.'' Toni acted nonchalant about  it, but it didn’t look like a stable childhood to Shelby, if the tattoo artist didn’t take Toni under his wing then god knows what  could've happened  to Toni. ''What about you?''

'' Well, I grew up in a strict Christian  household with  b oth my parents, a brother and a sister . I did pageants and I'm an assistant...'' Shelby wasn’t proud of her job, she never got to go to college, her parents wouldn’t pay for it because her younger  siblings needed the money for their  future, and she didn’t get a  scholarship .

'' Well, how'd you get out of there?'' Toni seemed genuinely curious.

''Out of where?''

''Your  household , from what Fatin said the first day they  aren't very accepting. I would  imagine they didn’t have the best response to you going out here and living on your own.''

''We had a bit of an argument in my senior  year, so we didn’t really talk that much anymore so they just let me go.'' They rounded the  corner; Shelby could see the park t hat  led to the woods.

Snow began falling while they walked.

''Is that why you have a cross on your necklace? You're still religious?'' Toni's tone wasn’t  friendly , it wasn’t hostile, Shelby thought it sounded critical.

''I still am but I take a bit more liberty in it, I'm not as strict as I used to and I have changed most of my  views , I believe different things  now, but I still believe god  exist .''

''To be honest I think  it's mostly a tool to control the masses.''

Shelby wasn’t very happy with the  answer, but she tried to hold her tongue, Fatin always said that she shouldn’t force her religion on other people. It wasn’t saving other  people; she would just be annoying Toni.

They walked in  silence; it wasn’t uncomfortable but there was some tension until Shelby broke it.

'' So, what's your favorite tattoo you’ve ever set?'' She was curious, if Toni had set tattoos for so  long, she must have been a very cool tattoo or something.

Toni looked at Shelby, ''Like  tattooed onto someone?'' Shelby nodded, ''I had this girl once, she was definitely nervous and I was overconfident and acted like an idiot, but apparently, she liked it.''

''What did you do?'' Shelby asked, the conversation from not even a minute ago already forgotten.

''So, she was  nervous, and I basically said, 'good girl' after I was done.''

Shelby laughed her ass off, Toni did that. ''Wait really? You're not fuckin ’ with me?''

''No  no , I really did that.'' Toni waved her hands around before walking faster, ''I'm still  embarrassed about it.''

'' Well, I would be too if I were you.'' Toni gave Shelby a dirty look.

''Moron.'' It wasn’t  an insult, at least it wasn’t meant to. Shelby just laughed in response.

''How's your house  doin ’?'' Shelby said as they neared  the end of the path.

''It's going okay, I've been working more than  normal because I need to  pay everything but it’s coming well together.''

They've been walking for a while when they came to the point Shelby had to go the other route to get back home, ''See you later!''

''See ya,'' Shelby walked away, sometimes looking back hoping to see Toni still standing there- she was, the first time before Shelby caught her.

When she got home Shelby got a text, it was sent earlier but she didn’t have a connection during the  walk, so she didn’t get it yet.

It was from Fatin. When Shelby opened  it she saw a picture of her and Toni walking and a speak thingy from Fatin. She never knew how  to call those  things; they're not calls and not voicemails so what are they?

She played the speak thingy ''So... you kissed her yet?'' Shelby could hear the smirk that was on Fatin's face while she said it.

** Shelby: **

HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THAT?!

** Fatin: **

What? 

You were the one on a date with Toni

** Shelby: **

1 st . It wasn’t a date we just went for coffee and 2 nd why do you keep asking me why do you keep asking me if  I kissed her yet?

** Fatin: **

Because I know  sexual tension when I see it

Shelby stayed quiet for a while, not wanting to answer. After 15 minutes Fatin texted again.

** Fatin: **

Youre just  gonna ignore me now?

** Shelby: **

No

** Fatin: **

Then what were you doing?

** Shelby: **

Nothing 

I have to do something else, see you later

Fatin stopped pestering her after  that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just picked some shop in Texas where Shelby and Toni meet up


	6. Obviously

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being gone so long I have a lot of things to do at school.

_ Shelby arrived at Nor's house just in time, she was clad in black  _ _ jeans _ _ with a yellow  _ _ sweater _ _ black shoes and her hair was down. Her hair was its natural curl since Shelby forgot the time since she usually doesn’t have any plans on  _ _ Saturday, _ _ so sh _ _ e didn’t have enough time to straighten it. _

_ She walked up to the door knocked and waited for  _ _ Nor _ _ to open it. When she did Shelby was surprised by what so wore. Not that Shelby had any  _ _ business _ __ _ controlling _ _ what  _ _ Nor _ _ wore it was just  _ _ a bit of a surprise. _

_ Nor wore tight leather pants with a _ _ black _ _ shirt that showed a bit of cleavage. Shelby's seen much more with other girls around town and in s _ _ hows, movies and commercials but it still surprised her Nor's mother would let her daughter  _ _ wear _ _ that kind  _ _ of _ _ clothing.  _ _ Contrary _ _ to Shelby Nor  _ _ was a bit more glammed up, she wore a bit of make-up and had her hair styled. _

_ ''You look dull,'' Nor said in a boring town, she still had a smile on her face though _ _ , ha _ _ ppy that Shelby still came. She knew that Shelby wasn’t  _ _ really good at stepping out of her comfort  _ _ zone, _ _ so this was going to be a long ni _ _ ght. _

_ ''Or you just glammed yourself up?'' Shelby said with a questioning expression on her face. It was supposed to be a  _ _ statement, but it came out like a question, much to Shelby's  _ _ chagrin _ _. _

_ ''I suppose,'' Nor said, ''Come in.'' Nor backed away from the door giving Shelby the space to step in the house. _

_ ''So... Why am I here?'' Shelby really wanted an explanation why she was at her  _ _ friend's _ _ house this late with her friend looking like she was about to go to a party. _

'' Well, we are going to a club, and  yes, it's legal, you're over  eighteen, right?'' Shelby nodded at Nor's question,  confirming that she indeed was over eighteen. 

''What kind of club?''

_ By the look on Nor's face, she already knew, the smirk on her face gave it away before she even got a word out, '' _ _ strip club _ _ ,'' Nor said anyway. _

_ ''You're  _ _ gonna _ _ bring me to a strip club?'' _ _ Shelby couldn’t go to a strip club; her father would be furious. _

_ Nor seemed to notice Sh _ _ el _ _ by's worry, ''Calm down Shelby, I  _ _ specifically _ _ choose a strip club because you wouldn’t be able to  _ _ buy _ _ alcohol,  _ _ they're _ _ not  _ _ prostitutes, _ _ and they'll back off when _ _ you ask. Don’t worry you  _ _ won't _ _ have to touch any boobs or something.''  _

_ Shelby began to think about what  _ _ Nor _ _ said and already began to flush. ''How are we even  _ _ goin _ _ ’ to  _ _ arrive _ _ there?'' _ _ Neither of them had a license. At least a legal one since Nor's back from home isn't reliable. _

_ ''Mama's going to drive us there,'' Nor said like it was  _ _ obvious, _ _ and every parent would do that. _

_ ''Your mom?'' _

_ ''Yes?'' Nor  _ _ answered _ _ but Shelby still stood there with a shocked face so Nor explained further, ''She doesn’t want me to go with public transport late at night and  _ _ it's _ _ eas _ _ ier to drive and pick us up.' _ _ ' _

_ Shelby was already surprised that Nor's mother would let her daughter do such a thing let alone drive them to their destination. _

_ ''Ben je  _ _ klaar _ _ om  _ _ te _ __ _ gaan _ __ _ schat _ _?'' Nor's mother said as she approached. Shelby had no idea what Nor's mom said but she just went with it. _

_ ''Yup, come on Shelby!'' Nor jogged out the door with a smile on her face. She was definitely excited. _

Shelby was just done with work when she got a text, she was just home sitting on her couch.

** Fatin: **

So I was wondering if you were free tonight?

** Shelby: **

I am

Why?

** Fatin:  **

Bc I want to  throw a party at my  house

I already have the drinks and shit I just need you to be  there

** Shelby: **

Fine

It was Friday and she was going to be free tomorrow so she could drink as much as she wants, not to mention that she was in the mood for a party.

She arrived at Fatin's house not long after, it wasn’t busy at all so Shelby figured it wasn't going to be a big party. Probably just the gi rls and like maybe some fuck boy Fatin wanted to bone that night.

''Fatin!'' Shelby shouted trying to get Fatin's attention so she can open the door since Fatin still hadn't replaced the busted doorbell.

Fatin opened the door and greeted her happily, ''Well hello to you to dipshit.'' Yeah, not so happy.

Shelby just gave her a look and went on walking to the living room. Dot, Leah, and the Reid twins were already there. Nora was sitting on the floor reading some book she probably took from home -Fatin would never own an actual book Nora would even  consider reading- with the rest  of the girls sitting  on the couch behind her .

Shelby decided to sit on the other side of the  table.

It was not long after when Toni and Martha came with another girl with them.

'' Hi, I'm Lihn,'' Lihn said with her Australian accent. It was kind of  intriguing.

Shelby gave her a little wave, so did Dot and Martha, the rest just either looked at her and nodded or  ignored her totally. Like Toni did.

Fatin flopped on the couch behind Shelby and threw a bag on the table, everyone looked at her questioning. 

''They're  edibles .''

Dot's face immediately lit up, ''You got edibles?!''

''They're Lihn's actually, it's why I asked her to come. She has the best weed in town.'' Fatin had a grin on her face when she said it. Shelby would too if she got her hands on weed, probably...

'' So, we're  gonna get high?'' Toni asked. It didn’t look like she was against it.

''Yup,'' Fatin said, popping the 'p’.

''Okay,'' Martha said when she reached forward and took two of them in her hand and threw them in her mouth before anyone could stop her.

Everyone made an ' oh ' sound.

''Martha you're  gonna be high as  my student loan''  Nora said.

Everybo dy stayed silent for a moment and looked at  Nora before Martha burst out laughing, it was not long before everyone else busted out too.

''Alright since Martha is  goin ’ to get  high, we all should too.'' Shelby said.

''No Martha is the only one that's  gonna get high,'' Toni said in a sarcastic tone but apparently, Shelby didn’t catch on since she looked at To ni confused. ''Obviously, everyone is  gonna get high blondie.''

''I'm  gonna go I still have some things to do, see  ya later guys!'' Lihn said as she stood up.

Everybody said goodbye to  Lihn, and they began to eat some edibles.

It  didn’t take long before they were a bit high. Fatin had explained that these edibles  weren't very high dosed so they wouldn't be  too high and still would be able to know what was  happening .

They decided to play truth or dare.

They  dared Toni to run down the street screaming and asked Dot  about the  mystery guy she was dating , the  stubborn person she is the only thing that Fatin got out of her was that his name was Mateo.

It was all fun and games  until Rachel  dared Fatin to give Toni a  lap dance , they were all drunk, high, or both so the was going to be some thing at least.

Fatin began while the others shouted encouragements to her, except Shelby  of course . 

Fatin got her top off and sat on Toni's lap. Toni just put her hands on Fatin's hip and looked up, a lazy smile on her face .

Shelby knew what was going to happen and didn’t want to see it, she knew what she felt when she was  jealous, but  then  she would have  a filter, when she's  drunk, she has a little bit less of a filter. She excused herself and went to the toilet.

After some time she heard footsteps.

''So... You still don’t like Toni?'' Shelby heard Fatin say.  Of course, Fatin would come after her.

''Seriously?'' She wasn’t mad at Fatin, she was dared to do it so even she couldn’t do a thing about  it, but Shelby might have been a bit  jealous . She  won't admit it but Fatin knows.

''Yes,'' Fatin knocked on the door before asking another question, ''Can you please let me in?'' 

Shelby unlocked the door and Fatin stepped into the bathroom. It was a large space, so it wasn’t hard for her to fit in and talk to Shelby.

Fatin looked at her  questionably and Shelby knew which question she was asking. She sighed, ''Okay I might find Toni attractive.''

Fatin hummed but continued, not satisfied with Shelby's response just yet, ''You wan na fuck her,'' it didn’t sound like a question, but it made Shelby flush anyway.

''Fatin,''  Shelby said as a warning, this wasn’t going somewhere she wanted to go.  Fatin still looked at her with an expression that said, 'don’t try me, I know you do.’ ''Fine she's hot.''

That seemed to satisfy Fatin enough to lay off and step out of the bathroom, Shelby  took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself down before following Fatin. 

Shelby sat back down next to Toni and they continued playing. 

''Why did you go?'' Toni said not long after Shelby returned.

''I had to pee,'' Shelby said. It didn’t sound  convincing, and Shelby inwardly cringed at her response.

Toni just hummed not convinced.

They played for some time before people began leaving, Martha went first but Toni just  told her that she'd stay at Fatin's house, the rest followed soon after.

Shelby drove herself here and she was far not sober enough to drive so Fatin just gave them a spare room in the house. 

They walked in and began looking around, a  king-sized bed with a closet on the right side, a ni ghtstand on either side with a lamp on them. It looked like a nice room,  definitely big enough for them to sleep in.

The door opened and they both turned around, Fatin stood there with clothes in hand, ''I got you some PJ's.''

They both thanked her before taking the pajamas and looked at each other. There was this tension and even if Shelby wanted to deny  it, she knew it felt sexual. She could only hope Toni thought so too.

''Uhmm.''

''Yeah.''

They were quiet again.

After some moments Toni sat the clothes down and so did Shelby not knowing what was going to happen, before Toni stepped closer, looking into Shelby's eyes.

Shelby began leaning forward slowly knowing  in her head she this was a bad idea, but she was too drunk to think or care about it. She did ma k e a mental note of how Toni smelled, Takis. Typical. It made Shelby smile a little.

Their lips made contact and Shelby could swear fireworks went  off in her head, the alcohol might be helping too.

It turned from  an innocent kiss to something  entirely else fast. Shelby brought her hand up to Toni's face and Toni grabbed her hips.

''Are you sure?'' Toni said after pulling away. Shelby grabbed her face and kissed her again, ''Yeah,'' Shelby said out of breath.

They began kissing again and Shelby pushed Toni onto the bed, getting on top of her.

''Fuck,'' Toni moaned when Shelby began kissing her neck.

Shelby got rid of her shirt before standing up and unzipping her pants, she looked at Toni who was looked at her supported by her elbows, her shirt already on the ground.

''Wow,'' Toni said with a smile on her face. She looked amazed, a smile that a kid would have when they could get candy at the fair.

''Says you,'' Shelby said with a smirk on her face when she leaned back in.

Toni blushed even deeper at the complement.

Shelby  deepen e d the kiss by running her  t on g over Toni's bottom lip asking for  access . Toni  happily gave it to her, opening her mouth and kissing her back.

''Damn you're a good kisser,'' Toni said after leaning back, she had to breathe after all.

Shelby just smiled at her knowing she was a good kisser.

''Obviously, by the state you're in right now,'' Shelby said with a grin on her face, Toni was out of breath, laid down on a bed propped up by her elbows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not a smut writer so I'm not gonna write it so sorry?


	7. New horizons

Shelby woke up with a killing headache to her phone buzzing. She unlocked it, squinting her eyes at the light that came from the screen before lowering it so she would be able to see why her phone was buzzing. 

**Fatin:**

Breakfast is downstairs if you need it 

Wouldn’t want to ruin your fun tho ;) 

What was Fatin even talking about? 

Then it all came back to Shelby, her and Toni doing... stuff. 

Groaning Shelby sat up. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes she heard someone groan behind her. That would be Toni. 

''You 'kay?'' Toni said looking at Shelby's back. She just hoped she hadn't fucked up. She already asked Martha if Shelby liked girls, but she just told her that it was not her place to tell so it wasn't too far stretched that Shelby at least liked girls a little bit. 

''Yeah, just have a killer headache,'' Shelby said. Toni just hummed before Shelby continued, ''And what Fatin text doesn’t help much.'' 

''What'd she say?'' Toni asked. God, she hoped that it wasn’t something about noise or something. 

''Breakfast is downstairs, wouldn’t want to ruin your fun,'' Shelby said. She looked towards Toni, who had conveniently was trying to hold her laughter. ''I swear to god if you say one word,'' Shelby warned. 

Yeah, that didn’t do much, Toni might not have been laughing but snickering wasn’t off the table. 

**Shelby:**

Ok 

''You think we made a lot of noise?'' Toni asked. She'd rather not have Fatin teasing her for the next week if she could help it. 

''I mean you were quite loud...'' Shelby had a grin on her face like this was priceless. 

''Oh shut up!'' Toni said. She still had a smile on her face though. 

''What was I supposed to expect? That I'd have a big bottom who was a little loud in bed when I was drunk?'' Shelby said. She tried to say it as playful as possible because she didn’t wasn’t Toni to think she had regrets. She didn’t, on the contrary, she had a great time. 

''I'm not a bottom!'' Toni wasn’t really offended by being called a bottom, but it was something she was teased about so much that she'd just say she's a switch. 

Shelby just hummed in response finally turning her entire body instead of just her head. ''Sure.'' 

''Not like you were silent,'' Toni huffed. She wasn’t mad but the blush on her face was adorable. Something Shelby could get used to for sure. 

''I know,'' Shelby said while she was coming closer to Toni who was still laying down holding her upper body up by her elbows. 

Toni just gave her a toothy grin when she leaned forward, pulling Shelby in a slow kiss that turned heated not long after. 

''I think Fatin can wait a little longer don’t you think?'' Toni asked after pulling back to get some air. 

''It's her fault if she walks in anyway.'' 

''She'd just shout at us to stop boning,'' Toni said. It was true, it happened to Toni years ago when she was still with Regan. 

Shelby hummed, not wanting to talk anymore and just get to business, she didn’t want Fatin to wait too long. 

_The ride was_ _uneventful_ _if Shelby had any say in it. They listened to some music and_ _Nor_ _might_ _have screamed some line from trampoline from SHAED_ _but furthermore, there weren’t any interesting things that happened._ _(I was listening to that song while writing_ _this btw. Very good song would recommend)_

_''Chil, you'll love this,'' Nor said with a smile on her face when_ _her mom left them._ _Shelby was a bit nervous. She hasn’t gone to a club ever, let alone a strip club._

_''We're about to enter a_ _strip club_ _Nor. How am I supposed to chill!?'' Shelby wasn’t mad but she was nervous as hell. She didn’t want to make anyone_ _uncomfortable,_ _and she_ _definitely_ _wasn’t_ _one to be sexually experienced let alone be able to flirt at all. It wouldn’t surprise her if she would just stare at the floor the whole time they will be here._

_Nor huffed and pulled Shelby inside by her arm. ''You'll be fine. They_ _won't_ _touch you if they think_ _you're_ _uncomfortable I'll make sure of it.'' Most of the time_ _N_ _or_ _was_ _brutally_ _honest and just thought Shelby should_ _get over it but she still wants Shelby to have a good time. ''If this really doesn’t work_ _out,_ _we'll go to some joint to eat something okay?''_

_Shelby nodded. The longer you get to know_ _Nor_ _the more you notice her patterns. She was_ _brutally_ _honest to the point to being rude sometimes, like the time she called the teacher out and_ _basically_ _told him he should_ _go back to college if he was so incompetent that a student could call him out on his bull_ _shit. And that she kept her promises as much as she could if the promise could be_ _upholding_ _Nor_ _would_ _do anything to_ _fore fill_ _it._

_Nor led her to a part of the club with two other people sitting at a booth. Apparently, they knew Nor, their names were Max and Nash_ _._

_Nor asked her if she wanted to look at the dancers and Shelby agreed. She thought Nor would guide them to a part with male dancers or something but_ _she didn’t._

_''_ _Uh_ _, um,_ _Nor_ _d_ _on'tcha_ _think you walked us to the wrong place?'' Shelby asked. Her face was starting to burn up._

_Nor scoffed, offended by what Shelby said apparently. ''Shelby I've seen the way you look at Jen.''_

_Jen was one of the seniors in her PE class and Shelby had to admit that she did find Jen attractive. Very much so..._

_''What do you mean?'' Shelby asked_ _, acting oblivious._

_''I know you like girls Shelby. Don’t worry I_ _won't_ _say a word_ _I'm_ _not like that. But...'' Nor had a smirk on her face that Shelby did not like, ''..._ _You're_ _gonna_ _have a great time. No one is here so you can enjoy yourself to the limit your comfortable with. The moment you say no they'll back off.''_

_It was nice to have Nor assure her that if she wanted it to stop it would because if Nor wouldn’t have Shelby would surely be out the door by now._

_If she was honest the night went well, she had fun and the dancers were one of the most_ _considerable_ _people. They barely went near her and only looked at her when she would come_ _to them_ _herself_ _. She still stayed to_ _Nor's_ _side most of the time though._

_''come on,'' Nor said as she tugged Shelby away taking her with her to a calmer place where Max and Nash were._

_''Hey_ _kutjes_ _!'' Nor greeted her friends. (_ _Kutjes_ _means cunts)_

_''Hey,'' Nash said. He was_ _certainly_ _the most energetic out of all of them. His_ _curly_ _red hair and green eyes may have made him look_ _Irish,_ _but he was_ _definitely_ _not_ _a sore_ _look for the eye_ _not to mention he was 5'10_ _. I_ _f Shelby was into_ _boys_ _she would_ _definitely_ _have_ _butterflies in her stomach but alas..._

_''What we_ _doin_ _’ here anyway?'' Max asked. He was_ _basically_ _the_ _opposite_ _of Nash. While Nash had a more feminine style he was_ _more_ _masculine_ _. 6'1 guy with black hair and piercing blue eyes_ _didn’t make him look any less_ _intimidating_ _. Not to mention his physic. He's athletically built_ _while Nash could be_ _described_ _as lanky._

_''I have a surprise for Shelby,'' Nor said. The smirk on her face was either a good or bad sign and Shelby didn’t know which one it was._

_Before Shelby could figure it out_ _Nor_ _pushed her into a room and sat her down at a chair and told her to relax. That couldn’t be a good sign and Shelby knew i_ _t. When_ _someone_ _tells you to relax something either_ _really well_ _or_ _really bad_ _was going to happen and in Shelby's experience most of the time it was bad._

_''Nor what did you get her into?'' Nash wasn’t one for confrontation and it looked like Shelby had no idea what was going_ _to happen._

_''I may or may not have just gotten her a_ _lapdance_ _,'' Nor said with a proud grin. Shelby was going to have the time of her life. She made sure to tell the dancer to go slow and_ _try to keep it_ _reasonably_ _safe for work._

''Well, finally the rabbits are done!'' Fatin said with a smile on her face. Neither of the other girls knew how she did it, she didn’t have a headache and didn’t flinch at the own volume of her voice. 

''Can you please not scream so loud,'' Shelby groaned while Toni grumbled, ''Shut the fuck up.'' After they were done in the bedroom their hangovers only got worse, their head hurt more, and their throats were as dry as Nora's humor. 

''Language T.'' Fatin went back to making her sandwich before she came up with another way to nag both of the girls, ''You didn’t seem to have any problem with noise last night,'' Fatin said, a smirk already forming on her face. 

''See, you were loud,'' Even though Shelby was hungover this was a nice opportunity to tease Toni a bit. 

''I was talking about you Shelby.'' 

Shelby looked at Fatin shocked. It wasn’t totally out of the question that she could've made noise but didn’t think Fatin was talking about her. 

She heard Toni snickering next to her and slapped her arm, ''Ass.'' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the name Nash from the Wayhaught fic 'Looking to belong' by BiggerTinySword and GaySolace.  
> It's really good so if you like Wayhaught I would recommend reading it.  
> Also if you have anything against Nash in that fic I'm gonna politely tell you to fuck off.  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/21583534/chapters/51460558 
> 
> I can't write a lot in the future 'cause my English teacher gave us 2 projects and I'm lazy and procrastinated on both of them...
> 
> Also, does anybody have a good tip on describing blood, wounds, gore, etc. because I'm making a crossover between TLoU and The Wilds but I'm not the best at writing gore and I'm almost at the part where I'm gonna have to write gore instead of mostly dialogue and worldbuilding, so if anybody has any tip to help with that it'd be amazing :)


	8. Lap dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello  
> Hi  
> Hey  
> Been a while since I actually updated this story so here we go  
> Yeah I had no idea what to call this chapter so I just called it 'lap dance' which- have you ever heard a more stupid title for a chapter that doesn't have an actual lap dance in it because you have no idea how that actually works so you just didn't write it?  
> I also had my first failing grade this year, I got one failing grade last year but that was a 5 for French and French sucks so I don't count it and my average was still a 7.5 or something. this time it was a 4.2 for Dutch, it gets even better right? It was an open-book test too...  
> I'll stick with Maths and Science because I actually like those.  
> my average grade for Dutch is still a 6 since I had a 5.2 and 7.5 for different tests  
> so technically it wasn't my first failing grade of the year but everyone failed that test except like 5 people so i don't actually count it...
> 
> I'm going to let you read it now...

_''You think she'll_ _be_ _okay?'' Nash asked as they sat down at_ _an_ _unoccupied table_ _higher up. They had just come up from the stairs next to the_ _entrance_ _where they left Shelby. C_ _lose enough to the_ _place they left Shelby so she could spot them and probably go on a rant abou_ _t how_ _Nor_ _shouldn’t have done that._

_''She'll be okay. I told her the moment she says no they'll back_ _off;_ _I told the same to the dancer. She'll be_ _fine,'' Nor_ _reassured_ _Nash. She knew that it might be a bit out of Shelby's comfort zone but that’s the reason why_ _they're_ _here_ _, Shelby would have the_ _opportunity_ _to step out._

_''You really are a dick sometimes you know that?'' Max said. He knew_ _Nor_ _wasn’t going to feel guilty b_ _ut she could be a bit too direct sometimes, she'd do things that normally people would complain about and just say ‘I don’t care deal with it’. He'd not once hear her_ _sugar coat anything. 'just say what you mean it's so much easier, that was the motto Nor lived with,_ _if only the world worked that way._

_''I. Am. Not,'' Nor said in obvious sarcasm. She knew that she could be a dick sometimes_ _, she thought of herself as a very self-aware person_ _but if someone couldn’t handle that then they shouldn’t be friends with them._

_''_ _Sure_ _you aren't,'' Max snapped back immediately. He wasn’t mad, he was annoyed at his_ _friend's_ _ob_ _liviousness. She had to see some people don’t like being pushed all the time._

_''Then why didn’t you stop me when I took Shelby away?'' Nor asked. She really was_ _curious_ _, if Max didn’t like what she did then why didn’t he try to stop her._ _He knew of her plan, she_ _literally_ _told him over Snap._

_''Alright I'm going to get a drink,'' Nash announces, ''You guys want any?''_

_''Aren't you underage?'' Max asked briefly being distracted from his conversation with Nor._ _They all knew Max liked to stay by the rules and not get in trouble. He was like the mother of the trio-_ _foursome now. Nor didn’t really know if she should count Shelby but Nash and Max seemed to get along with her._

_''Non-_ _alcoholic_ _drink Max.''_

_''I'll take a coke,'' Nor said._

_''Same.''_

_Nash left right after to get their drinks. Nor and Max both knew that he just wanted to get away from the conversation and they didn’t really blame him. He wasn’t the confrontational type._

_From up they could see him taking his time to get_ _through_ _the crowd that was dancing to the music_ _playing_ _. It was almost midnight by now and they'd have to bring Shelby back s_ _oon._

_It didn’t take long for Shelby to get back and she didn’t look so_ _angry as either Max or_ _Nor_ _had_ _suspected_ _, her face was_ _flushed_ _and she looked like a tomato. Nor found it amusing_ _. Nash had come back a couple of minutes_ _ago_ _so they had their drinks already when Shelby sat down at their table._

_''So... How was it?'' Nor asked after a couple of moments of silence. She really hoped that she didn’t just_ _traumatize_ _Shelby by making her think that she had to stay the whole time._

_Shelby just loudly groaned. Neither of the three friends really knew how to interpret the reaction so they just talked about something else until Shelby finally spoke up._

_''Fuckin_ _'_ _hell,'' Shelby said loudly, she looked up to all of them looking at her. Max and Nash in_ _curiosity. Nor in surprise, Shelby wasn’t one to swear._

_It was quiet- well not really because the music was still playing but the three friends kept their mouths shut so Shelby could talk again- before Shelby ta_ _lked again._

_''I just embarrassed myself,'' The blonde_ _elaborated_ _._ _Blushing even more now that she recalled the memory._

_''How so?'' Nash asked._

_''Was your face red the entire time?'' Nor asked in a teasing_ _tone._ _She remembered the first time she'd ever got a lap dance. It was from a friend- a very_ _attractive_ _one if you asked Nor- and Nor's face was red the entire time,_ _she'd_ _been teased not only by_ _the girl who gave her the_ _lap dance_ _but also by all her friends who were there. She obviously knew that none of them meant harm and if she was being honest with herself, she sometimes deserved to be the but_ _t_ _of the joke._

_''Not the fucking time_ _Nor_ _!'' Max whisper-shouted under his teeth before slapping Nor's arm. The reaction he got was_ _a_ _tirade_ _of curses he couldn’t understand before Shelby answered both Nash and Nor's questions._

_''Yes, like where_ _do I put_ _my hand_ _s_ _?_ _I_ _can't_ _just..._ _Ughh_ _,'' Shelby groaned._

_''Did you enjoy it?'' Nor asked._ _It_ _'s_ _unsurprising_ _Shelby got flustered_ _but being flustered doesn’t mean someone enjoyed what happened._

_It took Shelby some time to_ _answer_ _and she didn’t do it verbally either. She probed her elbows on the table and put her palm in her_ _eye sockets and sighed before nodding. She indeed enjoyed it, more than she really wanted to admit._ _She felt guilty, she_ _hadn't_ _really thought about her actions the whole time she was_ _here_ _but now that she thought b_ _ack at the_ _things_ _she has done this night..._

_''Can we just go? I really don’t want to stay,'' Shelby asked looking at_ _Nor_ _who nodded._

_They said goodbye to Nash and Max who stayed and_ _together they_ _walked out of the club._ _Nor called her mom and she came to pick th_ _em up. There was some_ _conversation_ _but it was mostly small talk and didn’t last long_ _so they just listened to the radio._

_''Should I put you at your house?'' Nor's mom asked. She wasn’t the most fluent in English_ _, she_ _had_ _an_ _accent- it wasn’t_ _too_ _noticeable_ _just like_ _Nor's_ _but it was_ _definitely there_ _\- and her_ _vocabulary wasn’t very_ _big_ _but the conversation seemed to flow between the_ _three,_ _so the ride was enjoyable._

_''That would be very nice ma'am,'' Shelby_ _answered_ _._

It had been almost two weeks since the... thing happened at Fatin's house. Neither of the girls said anything and it was beginning to frustrate Shelby. Shelby tried to call Toni the day after Fatin's party, but she wouldn’t answer, she left a voicemail telling Toni to call her back when she could. Shelby couldn’t blame Toni for not answering her call, maybe she was busy or with friends but after another 3 days of being ghosted she was getting annoyed. She called multiple times and left multiple texts but Toni just wouldn’t answer. 

So Shelby decided to ask Martha about it, Toni would tell Martha anything and if Toni didn’t want to talk to her she would ask someone else. 

They decided to get lunch together, there was this really good place Shelby liked to go sometimes. It wasn’t very big, with big windows in the front- more windows than walls really- and it always played 2000's music. Not really Shelby's first choice but she could tolerate it. 

''So... what was this thing I heard from Fatin yesterday?'' Martha asked. Their food had arrived moments before and they'd done some small talk and cached up while waiting for the food. 

Shelby knew what Martha was talking about but she'd rather have Martha admit it. ''What did you hear?'' 

''Well... you know what I mean. I asked Toni about it but she wouldn't answer me,'' Martha answered as she began to cut her pancake. It was 8 small round pancakes with strawberries in between. 

''It's not like she'll answer me either,'' The blond shrugged. She didn’t really want to tell Martha what happened. It wasn’t really her place either, she didn’t know what Toni thought- since she wouldn’t answer Shelby's calls or texts. 

''She does that sometimes. She'll just ignore everyone. It mostly happens when something comes back that she doesn’t want to deal with, just let her figure it out,'' Martha said nonchalantly- like it's not a big deal, Toni is her best friend she should be worried about her. Shelby can only imagine that things like that have happened so many times that Martha isn't really fazed by it anymore. 

They begin eating and although Shelby has so much more, she wants to ask she decides that it’s better not to question Martha further about it. If Toni wants to tell her she will and if she doesn’t- Shelby doesn’t really know what she should do if Toni never wants to talk to her again, but she shuts that thought down immediately. 

They made conversation, they talk about Shelby's parents and her having to visit them over Christmas. Shelby wasn’t really looking forward to it, but she didn’t visit them last year and she wants to see her siblings. Martha tells Shelby about how she finally decided to try and dance again, nothing like in competitions she used to do when she was younger but it was a start. They talk about New Years', it was only late November at the moment but Martha would rather over plan than under the plan. 

They wanted to celebrate New Years' with everyone. Toni, Dot, Fatin, Leah, Rachel, Nora, and of course Shelby and Martha themselves. Dot might even bring that mystery guy, who knows. 

Shelby always liked Martha's optimism but sometimes it annoys her too. When she asked Martha for the final time about Toni Martha just tells her Toni will be okay, 'she always is’ as Martha so delicately put it. 

''I'm gonna go, is still have some things to do,'' Shelby announced after they were both done eating. They'd been in the restaurant for almost an hour now and Shelby wanted to get her work done. 

''Yeah that’s alright with me,'' Martha smiled. 

They ask for the bill and pay for their meals before saying goodbye. 


	9. Embrace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I am back! missed me?  
> probably not  
> but that's not the point  
> so I had nothing to do this week  
> no test or homework that I would bother to make so I had a lot of free time (most of it being spent on this new 400K Wayhaugt fic I found)  
> so I have a new chapter for you fuckers  
> Enjoy!

_Shelby was making her math homework- algebra to be exact- when she heard a knock on the door. She didn’t know who it could be, ever since_ _she came back from the nightclub last week her parents have been extra protective. No people coming over unless they knew both them and their parents_ _and even Andrew wasn’t allowed in the house, not that Shelby wanted to see him_ _anyway,_ _but he'd come in the house sometimes, she'd seen him hanging around, talking to her parents and siblings._

_'' Come_ _in,'' she answered before focusing back on her homework, she had a test in two days and algebra wasn’t her strongest suit._

_''Dinner_ _’_ _s ready,'' Shelby heard her mother say before the sound of the door closing reached her ears. It wasn’t even 6 yet, normally dinner wouldn’t be_ _served_ _for at least an hour_ _._

_The past week had been_ _hectic,_ _to say the least, Shelby couldn’t stop thinking about the lap dance- the night in general but mostly the lap dance- the way it made her gut drop and her mouth feel like a desert ever_ _y time she thought about it._

_It made her feel_ _disgusting_ _, she knew that she shouldn’t. She'd gotten a whole lecture of sorts about it yesterday from Nor. She wasn’t guilt-tripped_ _or anything but Not explained to her what she was feeling and that it wasn’t a bad thing._ _Of course,_ _this didn’t really help Shelby,_ _Nor_ _wasn’t religious in any way, in fact, she'd_ _criticized_ _organized_ _religion many_ _times,_ _mostly_ _in class._ _Even then it was still a bit_ _taboo_ _in Texas but_ _as long as_ _she didn’t make fun of God nobody really did anything besides calling_ _her_ _a sinner._

_She walked_ _downstairs_ _but she didn’t hear any running nor her siblings talking, they would usually talk as loud as possible so that they wouldn’t have to during prayer and dinner._ _It was odd and certainly didn’t settle well with Shelby._

_The feeling became even worse when she walked into the kitchen, her parents were sitting there- her siblings were nowhere to be seen but_ _luckily_ _neither was Andrew, even though it had_ _been weeks since she broke up with him it was still a sore topic with her parents._

_There was also no dinner._

_''Shelby_ _couldya_ _sit down for a sec,'' her father said. His accent was a bit thicker than normal_ _, it always happened when he's nervous._

_That's what Shelby has been told. She had never actually seen her father nervous. Her mother told her a story about the first time her father went and preached in church once. She told Shelby about_ _how wonderful her father spoke and how he was spreading god's word, she was told how his accent thickened and how that was the moment her mother realized she had feelings for her father_ _. It was a nice story even when you think about how the only thing her mother really did was praise her father_ _. Shelby could hear how much her mother loved him, even now she would look at him with a look in her eyes Shelby could only dream of having for a boy. But she doesn’t, she doesn’t even like boys at all_ _. Not that she knows of._

_She heard her mother mumble something under her breath but didn’t hear what it was, it did get her out of the non-moving state she was in since her father had asked her to sit down. Now that she was with_ _them again instead of in her memory she sat down at her usual spot, at the head of the table with her parents to_ _the_ _right._

_''Why am I here?'' Shelby asked. It wasn’t rude or_ _disrespectful,_ _but it felt like it. Over the last few days Shelby had been more open about what she wanted instead of just what her father wanted._ _She could only guess Nor was starting to rub off on her, she wasn’t rude, she just told them what she wanted_ _but just doing so made a knot in her stomach form, she wasn’t supposed to talk back to her parents, they were her parents._

_''We wanted to talk about college,'' her mother said softly, she wasn’t as harsh as her father and Shelby was thankful for it._

_Shelby had_ _thought_ _about_ _applying_ _to_ _colleges_ _but she knew she couldn’t pay for_ _them,_ _she didn’t have any work experience so finding a job was going to be harder and she would be away from her family. Now that she looked at it_ _,_ _it sounded fantastic but she didn’t think so at the_ _time_ _so she didn’t_ _apply_ _at all_ _. She talked to her parents about_ _it_ _and they told her they would pay for_ _a portion of_ _college if she worked the year after she graduated, she would build up_ _some spare money and_ _experience so_ _she would be able to work when she did go._

_''What about it?'' Shelby questioned_ _, she_ _internally_ _slapped herself for her choice of words, she was supposed to talk respectfully, she just began to sound like_ _Nor_ _when their math teacher pissed her off._ _She should probably start_ _applying_ _for a_ _job_ _soon, it wasn’t long before summer so if she could get a job that would be nice_ _._ _She wouldn’t have to worry about both getting a job and applying for college._

_''We decided not to pay for it,'' her father said. His tone wasn’t apologetic like her mother's was, it was_ _nonexistent_ _. He wasn’t sorry and all three Goodkind's knew it._ _Shelby had grown distant from her father, she talked more with her mother than with her father._

_Shelby saw her mother open her mouth to say something but decided against it. Shelby could feel this wasn’t her mother's idea, she saw it in her mother's expression and her body language. Her shoulders_ _weren't_ _straight,_ _and her chest wasn’t high like it normally was._ _Shelby knew her mother was a proud woman, proud of her husband, proud of her children. This wasn’t like_ _her,_ _she wasn’t one to stay_ _quiet. She_ _would voice her_ _opinion, not as much as Shelby had been doing the past few days and her mother would make sure her choice of words_ _were_ _respectful but she still said what she wanted_ _to_ _. Now_ _she was just quiet._

_Her father just sat_ _there, like he didn’t just_ _waste_ _a year of his daughter's time on_ _a_ _promise he wasn’t going to fulfill_ _._

It had been three days since her lunch with Martha and Shelby was getting frustrated. She knew Martha told her to give Toni space, but it had almost been three weeks and it was almost December by now. 

This wasn’t a good idea and Shelby knew it, it made her feel like some weird stalker- maybe it was just her own mind telling her that, Shelby wasn’t the best in relationships but she was worried about Toni. She wasn’t even very angry anymore, she'll leave that to future Shelby because right now she needed to know why Toni was shutting off. From what Shelby knows Toni is someone who would tell her if she didn’t want to talk to Shelby anymore, this thought made her even more worried. 

Right now she was in her car a block away from Toni's house. Toni would probably be staying there by now and if she wasn’t Shelby would be fucked. She didn’t have any other location where Toni might stay and she wouldn’t just show up at Toni's work. That would just go too far for Shelby, Toni would have work and wasn’t looking for some girl to talk to her. 

The knot forming in her stomach wasn’t one she was used to, normally the knot in her stomach would be from fear of punishment but the one she has now was because she was genuinely nervous, what if she fucked up or made Toni even madder? She couldn’t fuck this up. 

She knocked twice, the door was made from wood and made a louder sound than Shelby thought it would but it would definitely reach Toni- if the brunette was even home. 

It didn’t take long for her knock to be answered, Toni opened the door, sweats and all. Her eyes were a bit puffy; it wasn’t too bad but Shelby could see she had cried some time ago. 

''Hi,'' Toni said quietly. She looked surprised like she didn’t expect Shelby to come after her. 

''Hi,'' Shelby actually smiled. Not some fake smile she would put up during pageants but a genuine smell. She had no idea why; she shouldn’t be smiling. This woman had ghosted her for three weeks and here she was smiling at just seeing her again. ''Can I come in?'' She asked hopefully after some moments of silence. 

Before Toni could answer Shelby heard a voice call behind the brunette. 

''Toni who is it?'' The voice called. 

At first, Shelby could feel her gut fall but after a moment she noted the voice didn’t sound young, so either Toni had sex with a milf or Shelby shouldn’t be worried. She shouldn’t be worried at all, Toni could sleep around with who she wanted, Shelby wasn’t her girlfriend so why did Shelby's gut sink? 

''Uhm...'' Toni stayed silent for a moment, probably to think about what she was going to say, ''This is Shelby.'' 

Shelby could hear footsteps before a woman who looked to be in her mid 50's emerged from behind Toni. 

''The girl you told me about?'' The woman asked. She looked eerily similar to the younger brunette. Both had brown hair- although the older woman's hair was lighter than Toni's- and a similar face shape although the older woman had blue eyes instead of Toni's brown eyes. 

Toni looked a bit ashamed, she answered the older woman by nodding her head. Was Toni ashamed of Shelby? Of what they did? Why and how did this woman even know her or her name? 

''Nice to meet ya,'' The woman smiled and stuck her hand out for Shelby to shake, it looked genuine although there was a certain cation in her voice. 

Shelby shook it and smiled back before they were interrupted by Toni coughed, ''Would you like to come in?'' she asked. Toni sounded far more formal than Shelby was used to, and it didn’t completely sit right with her. 

She nodded anyway and followed Toni and the strange woman into the house. It looked more decorated than the last time Shelby had been here. There was some furniture and even some pictures, it wasn’t complete yet and Shelby could see it but there was a certain atmosphere, it wasn’t like a home but it could be. A mattress lay on the ground when they stepped into the living room, Sheets disorganized and clothes randomly laying around. Shelby thought it was weird but she held her tongue nonetheless. 

''Would you like some coffee?'' The woman asked. 

Shelby looked at Toni to see what she thought- it was her house after all-, but Toni was playing around with her fingers looking down, not wanting to look at Shelby. 

''No thank you,'' The blond replied. The woman got seated at the table and Shelby was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable, ''Could I talk to Toni for some time?'' The older woman nodded but stayed seated. ''Privately.'' 

The woman left without any further complaint and Shelby took the seat that previously belonged to the woman. ''Toni?'' 

Toni looked nervous and her jaw was clenched, she didn’t look angry but more ashamed. Shelby had no idea why she would be ashamed. Of course, it didn’t occur to her that Toni had ghosted her for the last three weeks but it would in the next quiet moments before Toni sat down. 

''She's my mom,'' Toni answered the unasked question both of them knew Shelby wanted to ask. It dawned on Shelby that the reason why the woman looked so much like Toni because she was related to Toni. 

''She sleeps here?'' Shelby questioned. That was the only explanation for the mattress. Toni might be disorganized sometimes but having a random mattress in the middle of the living room didn’t sound like something Toni would do. 

''She has nowhere else to go,'' Toni shrugged. This was supposed to be her mother, the woman who raised Toni and she couldn’t even have her own place to stay. Was Toni not supposed to be moved out instead of having her mother stay with her. 

''Why?'' Shelby asked. It was an intrusive question and Shelby knew it but it sounded weird to her, mothers shouldn’t have to stay with their child because they don’t have enough money. 

The way Toni looked up at her, she looked so stressed out and Shelby didn’t know what to do. She wanted to comfort the brunette but she didn’t know if Toni wanted her to. 

''She just came out of rehab,'' Toni murmured. If Shelby wasn’t paying attention she would've missed it. ''She'll be back in a month or so.'' 

''Is that why you've been so quiet the past weeks?'' Shelby asked. She decided to ignore the last part of what Toni said because it made her feel something she never had before. Toni shouldn’t have to look forward to her own mother relapsing just to get her out of her house. 

For a moment Shelby was scared Toni was going to punch or shove something of the table, instead the brunette began to take breaths and tried to calm down. 

''Oh Toni,'' Shelby said apologetically. She didn’t want Toni to feel sad because Shelby didn’t have patience. She tried to stand up but Toni send her a sharp look, it wasn’t an angry look but it did give the message Toni didn’t want Shelby to stand up right now. 

''She just acts like it's her house,'' Toni said, her voice just as quiet as the last time but it felt far more emotional. ''I have to work extra to be able to pay the larger water and electricity bills not to mention the food she eats every week,'' Toni let out a bitter laugh as she rubbed her eyes. 

''Does she work?'' Shelby asked. 

Another laugh left Toni's mouth and Shelby was beginning to feel worried for Toni's mental health. The way she looked, eyes slightly puffed and circles under her eyes it wouldn’t surprise Shelby if she would have a burnout tomorrow. 

''Who wants a fifty-six-something-year-old addict as an employee. She doesn’t know how to hold her tongue and likes it when kids cry.'' 

''Ton-'' 

''I don’t want your pity Shelby, please I had enough people feeling bad for me already,'' Toni interrupted Shelby. 

Shelby nodded standing up, ''Could I at least give you a hug?'' The blond asked with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. 

''Fine,'' Toni grumbled but she had a little smile on her face. Shelby knew that Toni needed someone to lean on and if Toni wasn’t going to ask Martha the least Shelby could do was give her a shoulder to lean on. 

''And don’t ever ghost me again, got it?'' The blond asked in the embrace. She could feel Toni's face interrupt in a smile against her shoulder. 

The brunette squeezed Shelby's hip before answering, ''I won't, promise.'' 

And Shelby couldn't keep her face from lighting up and a grin forming on her face at Toni's words. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any thoughts?  
> The next chapter is going to be from Toni's POV ;)


	10. Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there you mentally ill dumbasses.  
> Here I am again with a new chapter  
> So it isn't long and only one scene but I don't really have a storyline for Toni because I don't want to do too much but I really wanted to write this scene so I made it  
> This has now actually surpassed my other fanfic which is not uploaded yet because I'm working on the first chapter but you know I'm doing it from 11 POVs so that is going to take longer and I'm trying to make that one at least 400K because why not?

''Hun I'm home!'' Toni's mother announced as Toni heard the door close. She knew what she had to do. Shelby had made her see it. 

It sounded dumb, just a girl she hooked up with- Toni knew Shelby wasn’t just some girl but she wasn’t ready to acknowledge that yet- came and talked to her didn’t mean she would suddenly have everything figured out. 

And she didn’t- not yet. 

She felt terrified, this was her mother but seeing Shelby so concerned, not just because Toni wouldn’t answer her but because Toni had to work so much. Toni could see it when she told Shelby about her extra work, the slight crease in her eyebrow, and how she put her foot on the seat instead of the ground. It made her see what she was doing. 

Normally Martha would leave her alone when her mother got out of rehab. Toni appreciated it because she knew her mother would leave after a few months- she always did- but it never made her see what she was doing to her friend. 

But now she did. 

She saw what she did and she was determined to change it. She wasn’t going to turn into her mother. She wasn’t just going to give up. 

She wouldn’t. 

''Can I talk to you for a sec?'' Toni responded back. She was sitting on the same chair she sat on when she was talking to Shelby. She did have a water bottle on the table by now because she got trusty and she didn’t really drink the last three weeks. 

Her mother walked in visibly confused. She knew Shelby left because- you know she wasn’t blind. She looked sober but you never know. 

''Sure, what is it?'' Her mother asked with a smile. It was obviously forced- not fake just forced, most likely through nerves. Toni had been on edge for the last 2 weeks because she was tired and stressed. Just because her mother was her mother didn’t mean she wouldn’t take the stress out on her- never physically, god no, Toni had enough childhood memories to never even think of that. Mostly verbal, shouting matches became a daily thing just a week after her mother moved in and it didn’t really help the tension. 

They had just made up yesterday and Toni didn’t have a good feeling about what was going to happen but she knew she had to say something. She had to make the first move because no one else is going to do it for her. 

It was never her mother. Martha nor Shelby were there. She had to do this on her own. 

''I can't have you live with me anymore,'' Toni said quietly. The next few seconds were met with silence and Toni thought that her mother might not have heard her. So she reluctantly lifted her head away from her fingers she was playing with at the moment and looked up at her mother. She found an expression she couldn’t totally read. There was anger, disappointment, and most of all disbelief but there was something there Toni couldn’t entirely make out. Dare she say pride? She didn’t know if she should be scared or relieved. ''Not in the same way you're doing now,'' She finally said. 

She didn’t mind having her mother stay with her- that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that her mother refused to work, refused to clean, left everything she used around the house, expected Toni to pick it up, acted like she owned the house, she even tried to boss Toni around. 

''What do you mean?'' Her mother's voice was far calmer than Toni expected it to be. She expected a raging woman yelling at her like what used to happen when she was younger. 

Her mother had come out of rehab three times. Once when Toni was 9, it took two weeks for her to get back in. The other time when she was 13, it took a little longer that time around, her mother stayed sober- not clean but sober, she even kept away from alcohol- for 6 months before she was at it again. And most recently when Toni was 15, the older woman stayed clean for five days before she overdosed. She barely even made it. 

Toni could remember walking in seeing her mother on the ground, unconscienced and not moving even after she tried to shake her awake. She knew this would happen, after two times having hope, she really just gave up, but this had never happened. She never saw her mom motionless and unresponsive like this. She was usually just high. 

She was pulled out of her flashback when her mother sat down, the chair made noise on the ground and it made Toni want to cover her ears, but she didn’t. 

Her mother just stared at her questionably instead of repeating her question. 

It took some time before Toni could answer her mother, she was fidgeting with her hand, head bowed down. 

She took a deep breath before finally answering, ''You can't keep staying here without paying. You don’t work, not in a store, or even help around the house. You don’t clean. You just expect me to do it all,'' It was out. Toni felt even smaller. She felt like the little girl she used to be when she had to be prepared to punch her way upstairs when she would come home to a new foster family with some old drunk white man who liked to touch his foster kids a little too much. 

''You're going to do this to your poor mother?'' Her mother asked putting on a disappointed face. 

Toni knew what she was trying to do, her foster mothers would always do it when she told them she didn’t want to give up her time to look after their biological kids. It angered her to the point she wanted to punch their faces in. 

Her mother is no different. 

''Yes. If you don’t work you're not staying here. I don’t care who you are,'' She said. She was furious but she couldn’t show it. This was still her mother. She had to give her the benefit of the doubt but that didn't mean she was going to get her hopes up. In no time her mother would be back in rehab or dead. Toni doesn’t really care anymore. 

''So you're going to kick me out?'' Her mother asked. She looked just as angry as Toni felt. 

''Yes,'' It was only one word but it made her mother snapped. She began yelling. It didn’t really faze Toni, this was nothing compared to how she grew up. 

''Fine I'll pack my bags but if they find me dead somewhere along the road it is your fault,'' Her mother said while standing up and walking to her stuff. 

Not ten minutes later and her mother was outside of the door looking furiously at Toni through the window. Toni knew she should've been more considerable but she was done, she couldn’t stay like this anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I can't get rid of that last note which I made in the first chapter so it's going to be there but I can assure you I will continue this  
> I've never had this much fun staying away from people and not socializing  
> Thoughts?

**Author's Note:**

> Do you want me to continue? I'm not sure if I should


End file.
